Ladies, Say What You Say!

Do You Volunteer?

2011-06-25T01:51:00.006+01:00

I had an interview with Canadian Red Cross for a volunteer job. The interview went well and to be honest, I felt some kind of emotional connection to what I am going to do, something that I never felt before... I will probably start in two weeks and I am all excited!

Is there any volunteer experience that you want to share?

Have a great weekend everyone!

Mission Accomplished!

2011-05-16T20:54:00.002+01:00

Hey!

How is everybody? I disappeared for a few days cramming for my SAP TERP10 exam. I passed the exam this morning. Mission accomplished!

For those who may want to know more about the SAP software, the certification, and how the certification can help you launch your career as a consultant, below are a few links that I found helpful:

What is SAP TERP10 about?
How to prepare for the exam?
How to start your career as an SAP consultant?

And a video showing you how exciting it could be when you pass the exam. Well in my class, I saw some big moves, and we were pretty loud too!

The course I took was a 10-day lecture course, pretty intense and time consuming I would say. Ah and you will definitely get shocked by the thousand-page course binder.

Have a great week everyone!
Fran

A Quick Post On Mother's Day

2011-05-08T15:33:00.008+01:00

Hi everyone!

I believe that we may all have similar things to say to our moms.

Source

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I Love You.

Have a good weekend everybody!
Fran

Jobs' Comment On Jobs

2011-04-26T01:01:00.002+01:00

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it." ---- Steve Jobs

Link

Have a great week everyone!

Enjoy life.

Fran

Job Hunting EH!

2011-04-24T14:35:00.002+01:00

4 Key Success Factors for Success:

1. Know what you want;

2. Work hard for it;

3. Be flexible and creative;

4. Integrity, integrity, integrity.

The picture is from a friend, and it made my day.

Happy holidays to everyone!

Fran

After So Long...

2011-04-21T04:02:00.009+01:00

Hi ladies!

How is everyone doing? It's been ages since I last posted, so here are a few updates:

1. I finished my MBA on April 16th. Two years is a long time, ehhh enough for studies!
2. I have decided to extend my stay in Canada for some life and work experience.
3. I love April in Canada. We had snow, rain, sunshine and hail last week, and looking ahead...so yeah life is concise.

I would love to hear from you guys how you are doing, and I guess I finally have some time to update this blog a bit more frequent.

I hope you all have a big sunny day out there.

Enjoy life!
Fran

Fine line between right and wrong...

2010-05-12T04:24:00.005+01:00

10 things that I can do within 20 minutes

2010-02-15T06:02:00.001Z

Within 20 minutes, I can:
1. draw something;
2. finish a blog post;
3. clean my room;
4. call my family, having a nice and happy talk;
5. take a quick walk to downtown;
6. take a picture;
7. learn a new trick, for instance how to use the financial calculator (it is a tough one though);
8. make some really good chrysanthemum tea;
9. cook instant noodles with boiled eggs, and hopefully eat them all;
10. wait for a single bus and still be patient... Sigh.

Life is short, but 20 minutes could be long.

Catch a falling star...

For my no-Valentine Valentine's Day.

But still,
With lots of love,
Fran

SECRET WORKED AND HOW!

2009-12-14T18:31:00.002Z

Hey Lo Ladies,

I know I have been away from posting for as long as I can remember.. Apologies for my in activeness..

In one of the post that I have written earlier on this Blog were about The Secret.. click below

http://whattheladiessay.blogspot.com/2009/07/secret.html

I had mentioned all things that I wanted to happen to me through the power of The Secret!

I remember clearly writing about going for a trip to Thailand this year.

And yes, I am just back from Thailand!

I had never travelled abroad. for that matter I didn't even have a passport when I wrote the above mentioned post. But all I did is visualise myself sitting in that International Flight and going far away!

Thailand happened to me just at the right time. Barely a week after my passport arrived. I got a call from my boss asking me about this Story that I had to cover for my channel in Thailand.

Though it was just a 3 days trip. It still made feel so overwhelmed that I cant describe.. There are so many other things that I mentioned in my post ..But I am glad as of now at least one thing came true..

So I going to work harder on the law of attraction.. and will live my dream

So girls.. get your list ready and tell me what you wanna do in your future.. Start nOW!

Sabz

How will you tackle this problem?

2009-12-01T21:27:00.002Z

A group of people are working on an essay. Each of the three writing members is supposed to write their own parts, put the reference, and submit to the two editing members.

Once they were all done, submitted the report, and met again, the two editing members said triumphantly,

"We found some one of us was committing plagiarism. But fortunately we found out, and we deleted that part that person plagiarized."

All the writing members are totally confused and there is an embarrassing silence in the group.

Later on, the person who "committed plagiarism" found out herself why they said that. She intended to quote the whole paragraph, and put quotation marks at the very beginning, but forgot to put the other half of the quotation marks in the end of the paragraph, although she put the reference there.

She felt so bad, almost burst into tears because she thought the editors should have let her know earlier so that she can review and revise her part… and she might feel not that bad now…

This is a story happened in one of the groups I work with. If you were one of the editors, what would you do if differently?

Tomorrow is gonna be different.

2009-11-28T03:16:00.004Z

Photo Link

"The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different."
----Peter Drucker

You can always expect something positive from a counsellor. If you do not give yourself credits for what you have achieved, they will list out those things that you should be proud of. If you are worried to death about something you should not worry about, they will tell you to stop. If you lose track of your priority of your life, they will say it loud and clear- focus on whatever you should...

Things are in our sub consciousness but they just need someone else to bring them out so that they could change our lives.

Tomorrow, no matter good or bad, is going to be different, and I like it either way.

Last but not least, I found this website of Paige Pearson photography. Smile is the most beautiful language in the world.

Good night.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T22:10:00.002Z

Photo Link

Thanksgiving Delights

By Joanna Fuchs

On Thanksgiving Day we’re thankful for

Our blessings all year through,

For family we dearly love,

For good friends, old and new.

For sun to light and warm our days,

For stars that glow at night,

For trees of green and skies of blue,

And puffy clouds of white.

We’re grateful for our eyes that see

The beauty all around,

For arms to hug, and legs to walk,

And ears to hear each sound.

The list of all we’re grateful for

Would fill a great big book;

Our thankful hearts find new delights

Everywhere we look!

Heading to the end of the semester, I have seen lots of people stressed out due to the unbearable workload and the worries about the job terms, some of which are yet heading anywhere. There is no exception for myself. Times may not always be that enjoyable, but I hope it is not painful and it is worth remembering in some ways. I want to secretly say THANK YOU to all my peers, and all my blog friends from all over the world. You all appear in one of the best years of my life.

Hope

2009-11-25T01:45:00.001Z

Photo Link

The Hope of Loving

by Meister Eckhart

What keeps us alive, what allows us to endure?

I think it is the hope of loving,

or being loved.

This is the story of yin and yang getting their wires crossed

2009-11-23T09:12:00.001Z

Our dear Chinese friends are famous for their without parallel « zen » side and I’m not going to contradict that. After almost 2 months spend in their company (40% of Chinese students in my class), I can only confirm this stereotype.

Among all their wonderful theories of wisdom, my favourite one is probably the one dealing with the concepts of Yin and Yang. The yin symbolises darkness and coldness. The yang is its contrary. It means light and energy.

November: At the moment, we’re entering a cold period (well at least for the UK). I have to say it’s by far the season I loathe the most: my eyes start to cry at the merest sign of wind, my nose gets red (seriously, like as red as the Christmas father’s blazer!) and I feel down and I just want to lay in my bed til the end of this obscure period. Anyway, definitely not flattering and pleasing.

Well that’s no big surprise when you know that according to the Chinese medicine, the winter fits to the yin. However, the good news is that it hasn’t have to be the same on the inside. I mean, aren’t yin and yang supposed to balance each other?

Then, how to find again that right balance we’re talking about? The answer is simple: Add more yang to your life: warm colours, light and activities are the secrets. Incorporate this to your lifestyle, your food, your clothes, your relationships …Etc anything you can have an influence on.

Most of the people, in the winter (including me) tend to wear darker clothes, eat tasteless stuff and stay at home. Well maybe because their self is invaded by the yin. This is time to rock it out and get mixed up!

The Monkey Mind in You

2009-11-23T09:10:00.001Z

It is crazy how the time is passing by. I feel like I was working on my mid term presentation yesterday and that it's already time for final exams! My mind is like jumping from one topic to another and i'm juggling with hundreds of thoughts and reminders everyday.

This actually just reminded me of a Buddhist concept: the « monkey mind » - I just LOVE all those bizarre theories. Appart from the fact it leads to cool blog post titles, it also is most of the time, very intersting. Therefore I consider it is my duty to advertise them.

To make it short and simple, Buddhist people believes that doing too many things at once is definitely not leading to anything good (yes, even for multi-tasked gifted women). In fact, you are wasting your energy. It's like running all over the place and therefore you can't be as effective as when you're performing only one task.

The monkey mind is the image they found to represent this idea. Your mind is like jumping from one branch to another, like a restless monkey.

That's all well and good but what do you do with your monkey ?

The nice Buddhist monk says: « First things first, inwardly watch your shifting mind for a few moments. Then focus on a specific mental task or topic with full concentration. The monkey will be still – at least for a while. »

A little recipe for happiness

2009-11-03T01:27:00.002Z

I have a little recipe that isn´t hard to make... But you have to start it as soon as you wake up every morning. Here it goes:

1. Take a great big mixing bowl and fill it with a smile
2. Mix half a cup of sunshine with good deeds to last a while
3. Add a pinch of work and play, a pinch of thoughtfulness and care

But don´t bake it in the oven... just SPREAD IT AROUND EVERYWHERE!

Source: Castlemountains.com

Power

2009-10-27T16:13:00.004Z

I am a bad blogger...huge apologies for not checking in lately! I saw this on one of my fav blogs and I just had to pass it along:

Amazing.

xoxo,

Lisa

Get Inspired by Ashley, Again.

2009-10-25T19:49:00.001Z

Quotes are my favourite. They just say too well what we want to say...

Source

"This is my wish for you: comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life."

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

"Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering."

All by Ashley Smith.

Wishing you all have a wonderful day.

Fran

A Short Note After A Long Time: Wishing You A Wonderful Day

2009-10-07T04:37:00.001+01:00

It has been a long time since my last post. The thing is once you stop, you will have a hard time to resume ... In the past few weeks, once again I closed myself up, burying my head in my work and never looked up and told a thing. I feel sorry.

Life has been pretty fast-paced here. Being far away from home is not that easy, now I learned it very well. But no matter how uncertain I am about my future, I still believe that things will get better. One day, one day I will know which path should I take...

Wishing you all have a wonderful day.

Take care.

Fran

Be Afriad Not To Try.

2009-09-30T12:00:00.001+01:00

bisous. deva.

Decisions, decisions.

2009-09-17T09:43:00.004+01:00

(Just wanted to update any of you, just in case you follow my own, personal blog, that I have a different blog address now. You can find it here. Please update your Google Readers, links, feeds, etc.)

A lot of people would agree that your twenties are a time where a lot of us make several "adult-like" decisions-- whether it means choosing a career path, committing to a relationship, finding a place to settle, becoming financially independent, and so on.

How do you cope with trying to make an important, life-changing decision? More importantly, how can you make that decision and avoid the "what-ifs" or any taste of regret. What helps you make a confident decision?

Do you:

Follow your heart?
Do what seems most logical?
Make a pro/con list?
Ask family or friends for advice?
Cross your fingers and leave it up to fate...what's meant to happen will happen?

I need to make some important decisions, but lately I feel in a rut because I am not sure how to pick the right one, and I want to be sure to avoid making a decision I'll later regret.

Any advice for your fellow blogger? :)

xoxo,

Lisa

It's never too late.

2009-09-16T13:06:00.000+01:00

bisous. deva.

Future vs Present: Who Won The Game?

2009-09-14T11:54:00.002+01:00

30 days ago, I wrote an article on generation Y – my generation – and the reasons why we are so obsessed with the future and the present is so neglected. At this time, I decided to challenge myself. I decided that during the upcoming month, I was going to stay in the present no matter what and observe how I felt afterwards. The month is now gone and I’m here for a making–up.

Honestly, I never thought it would be that hard. It’s crazy how many times a day I thought about the future! It took me so much energy and I didn’t even know it. My challenge was huge because September was going to be the starting point of a new life for me so my mind was kind of contaminated with loads of questions, fears and excitation.

The first two weeks, I have to say I was heading for my fall. I couldn’t control myself: I kept on asking 300 questions everyday, dreaming every night about my first day in the UK and so on.

But I eventually managed to establish a few tricks to focus on the present. Here are some of them:

¤ A 1 minute meditation exercise. Take a deep breath in and then a deep breath out. Once again a deep breath in, tell yourself everything is going to be okay, and then a deep breath out (just focus on the air getting out of your rib cage). And do it again. You can of course change your mantra depending of the situation and the fear you’re experiencing. After one minute, you’ll feel much better AND you stop thinking about what is going to be next.

¤ My mind tended to fly away as soon as I was taking the subway, walking or stopping at red lights when I was driving. Therefore, I decided to focus on details around me: the blue sky, flowers in the streets, cute guys (hey every detail is good ^^). And as I was doing it I was saying myself stuff like “aw this is pretty/cool/awesome/” and this way I was focusing on something else than my thoughts. So just pick something you like around you and make little comments to yourself. It feels so good and it calms your mind immediately.

¤ Yoga. I practice many sports. I enjoy running but unfortunately I also do my grocery shopping list while I’m doing it so not the right solution! However yoga is perfect because you focus on your respiration and the stretching in the different parts of your body -> Focusing is the key, you only have to concentrate on something and then the future thoughts go away.

¤ Finally, last trick: learning to differentiate « toxic thoughts » from other ones : you can think about the future, of course, but only in some cases. Start by a making up: Here are the facts: what I know, what I don’t know, what I want to know. And then ask yourself which of the questions you’re asking yourself are truly important. Once you made this first selection, make an other one with the important thoughts: what can you do right now ?

Okay, you may need an exemple here :

The facts: I’m moving in a student house in the uk on September 19th

What I know: I know exactly where my house is.

What I don’t know & want to know: what are the furnitures in the room. who are my flatmate. how many shoes I should bring.

Relevant questions: what are the furnitures in my room ? ( so that I know what I need to bring)

Irrelevant questions: shoes are not that important, if i need more, i’ll buy at Topshop. Flatmates are important but I really can’t do anything about it right now, only waiting, so let’s stop focusing on that.

What can I do now: send an email to the person in charge of the accomodation and ask him about the room.

See, if you can do something right now about your future, do it. It will tranquilize you. If you can’t, then try to focus on something else.

So, concerning the fight between present and future, I say the present won the challenge. It was hard but I did it and I feel so much better now. There’s definitely less anxiety. Stress is coming from thoughts about stuff that haven’t happened yet so if you focus on the present, it disappears. Just so you know, it takes about 3 weeks to make it a habit. Give it a try and you won’t regret it. I promise!

Difficulties are ...

2009-09-05T15:56:00.005+01:00

Today I opened my fortune cookie and I read this line. I thought I will share this one with you guys coz it's simple and beautiful.

It's been awhile I haven't read something more motivating than this one.

Have a great weekend! Deva.

Life After College

2009-09-02T17:58:00.001+01:00

Hello Ladies,

Just wanted to share with you a super cool/useful link:

100 Inspirational Blogs for Life After College

I thought it might help you ... Good reading!

I AM A PROUD LOVETARIAN

2009-09-01T07:53:00.003+01:00

Hello Ladies,

First of all, I do really want to apologize for my lack of posts. I have to say I was once again “en quête d’inspiration” (looking for inspiration if you prefer). I found the perfect article theme today though. I was browsing through the last articles written by my favourite bloggers and suddenly get inspired by Deva and Ana. Here are the link to their articles: Deva & Ana

They were both talking about their love for life. How fresh is that? I decided it may be time to talk to you guys about my lovetarian diet. Gabrielle Bernstein, the creator of Her Future whom I am an intern for, taught me about that.

Being a lovetarian means you essentially approach life through a love angle. I try to see the best in everybody. I prefer loving thoughts over fearful delusions. I forget about what is making me suffer to focus on what is making me a happier and a better person. I thank everyday the universe for giving me an amazing sister who is my best friend and for my great friends who believe in me. Everyday I wrote in my “Today I am thankful for” diary. I forgive and forget about the negative stuff that happened in the past. I release myself. I allow myself to be in a state of love. I allow myself to be happy. It makes me feel so much more peaceful.

Watch out, you may have recognized yourself in this description and maybe you’re already a lovetarian but you were not aware of this aspect of you yet.

So you think you know Polish???

2009-08-30T14:47:00.003+01:00

This is my turn to tell you something more about me. I’m sorry I haven’t done that before but I was on vacations with my parents, just came back and I’m trying to catch up with everything. What I will tell you here are just very random information, with no particular connection, although I tried my best while I was writing it. But it’s just hard to talk about yourself and keep people interested.

First off I love to be in love with my life, I need to feel happy, if no I’m dying from the inside and I will do everything to be happy once again. I can be in love with everything! Music, puppies, sun, dress, shoes, view – whatever! I adore the feeling it gives me! I love to be in love with a guy as well and it’s a bit strange coz now I am but more about that you will read later. I’m very emotional, I can get hurt easily if you know where to hit me. I have thousands of emotions I express but not to everyone! Probably that’s why I write here about love and friendship. In blogging I love to talk with pics, I think they can beautifully fulfill text I write.

I’m 24 years old girl from Poland, currently living in Switzerland. Like most of us I left my country to search for an adventure, new life and new perspectives. I’m not very patriotic so I had no problem to move out, you won’t see me screaming or getting excited when polish team win some kind of competition. If you know me and you think you know polish people you have no idea what you are talking about. I’m not typical polish person at all! I only miss people in Poland, I mean my parents /I have very young parents and they are my true friends/, my family /although not all of them/, my best friends and my DOG! I miss my dog a lot

Like all my friends from LSWS I’m a bit complicated girl. I love people but I need time for myself. I can be very social and very loud but then I need silence to hear my own thoughts. I have quite philosophical nature. I believe in astrology and in power of subconscious but I know that’s nothing if you don’t work on what you what to get every single day. I follow my dreams, sometimes it’s hard but I believe that everything which is easily attainable is not worth having it. We need to work to appreciate what we have.

Like my friend Lisa I’m looking for a job right now. How ironic is that being 20 something and trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, you are set in the middle of world economic crisis. I’m learning French – never ending story! But I love this language, nothing more sexier to express passion and love in this particular language!

I had two break ups last year. I ended first relationship which lasted 2 years and my ex boyfriend was in the middle of searching a ring for me. I’m glad I did that, I wasn’t happy. To “celebrate” or to feel completely free I cut my long hair /about 80 cm/ I don’t regret but I still have a long way to get my hair back! After second break up I’m still in shock, I think now it hurts me even more that it did at the beginning. It’s funny but I feel like this is not the end, it’s like sth is keeping me close to him. I’ve got this feeling.

Talking about feelings and intuition. I can tell you in first couple of minutes if a person is good or not. I can tell you if I get well with someone or not. In 99% I’m right. It’s like sixth sense I have. And I dream a lot! I don’t talk about day dreaming but about normal dreams. What’s more I remember my dreams and what’s even more they have a strong connection to my life. Sometimes it tires me but I got used to them. For most of you I might sound awkward but that's me!

It would be all, if it’s too chaotic I’m sorry. If you want to know be better, read my post here on LSWS, go to my personal blog or just write me deva84world@gmail.com

Bisous. Deva.

Anything Better? Please!

2009-08-28T03:16:00.005+01:00

Hey ladies!

I finally uploaded a new header photo... For a change. It is HUGE, I know... I'm still looking for something more interesting, more custom-made, more with a touch of us... If anyone has any ideas, please, let me know!

Have a good evening!
Fran

Living His Life Faster

2009-08-28T02:50:00.005+01:00

This guy is incredible... Does anyone have ever tried any experimental photography project?

Chalk Animation

2009-08-23T12:35:00.012+01:00

Great art. Reminds me of my childhood. I was so addicted to chalk writing...

INDIA CALLING!!!!!

2009-08-19T06:03:00.003+01:00

Namaste! My friends!
This is one of the most difficult tasks that I find. Talking about myself...Reason: I am so complicated that its not funny..
Ok, here I go..
I am 25 year old girl from Mumbai, India. I moved to the Capital, New Delhi 2 years ago. I come from a Muslim family. Luckily, my father is a very liberal man and he always gave me the freedom to become what I want to. I always wanted to be associated with Communications..I dreamt of being a TV Personality for as long as I can remember. I think my drive to be here was so intense that God, just let every step in my life lead me to where I am today..Though I am not one of those famous Journalists on TV..I know I am getting there.
I love Flavoured teas..they are a complete weakness. I love the hills more than the beaches..When I am at the hills, that is where I want to be. But at the same time I cant have too much of what I like. I miss the city rush too.
I enjoy all sorts of music. Though I am not a big fan of Hard Rock..I listen to music from all over the globe. I dont think its always important to know what the lyrics of the song means..sometimes just the melody and the voice can move you..
I like watching Korean and french films too..The last Korean film that I watched on Youtube was " Moment to Remember" It was brilliant..
I am not an avid reader. But I do end up reading books during Potty breaks.! Dont freak out! I am sure you read in the loo too?

I am a very confused soul. It is very difficult for me to make a list of things I like and I dont. I like different things at different times.. Very fickle and indecisive.
I am curious and enjoy listening to gossip. But the day I have discussed something very nasty about someone, I feel very down and low. I cant sleep that night. I am really going to avoid taking interest in listening to work-place gossips.
Like all you lovely women, I am also a big fan of Carrie Bradshaw. and every time I am writing a blog, I have the carrie bradshaw voice reciting things to me in my head. I am such a Drama Queen!...
I am in love with a Hindu Man.. And being a Muslim, falling in love with a guy from another faith is certainly a blasphemous thing that I have done..But I dont care..I love my god but I am not going to let anyone else preach me my religion. Not even my parents.. I am going to learn about it on my own.
I can really surprise myself. I have been through the most trying times in my life and there are still yet to come.. I have managed to brave through all of it like a Pro..I dont know did I do that..
I wish I was more in love with myself.. I feel I dont take care of myself enough. I do keep hurting here and there..I am sensitive yet strong..I am happy yet sad..
I have this unique quality of smiling through pain.. There are days when I am so low because of some frantic call that I get from home about my parents impending separation and yet I go to work and have a blast!. Now thats quiet a skill I must say...

There is so much to write.. and I think I am going to update this later...Have to rush to work...
PS: I KNOW ITS A VERY LENGHTY BORING BLOG..WILL EDIT THE DETAILS LATER..

Sabz

because I wonder

2009-08-18T12:16:00.002+01:00

sometimes we just need time to find the right answer

so don't be afraid to wonder and to question

it means you want to discover world with every thought you have within yourself

bisous. deva.

Getting to know you: Lisa's Introduction

2009-08-13T22:38:00.004+01:00

First off, a big thanks to Ana, Fran, and Valerie for sharing a little bit about yourselves on here. Everyone is so unique and different but we all seem to share some similarities as well...I love that! Now I suppose it's my turn to give a little introduction.

Even though I have a blog where I share my ideas on my life, thoughts, and everything else, I am not the best at talking about myself or giving praises for my accomplishments or talents, but here it goes.

I feel like I am at a crossroads at my life and for the first time I really have no idea what is going to happen next, or where I'll end up. I love that feeling of uncertainly where literally anything can happen, but a big part of me is also craving something permanent, predictable, and a settled life somewhere. Don't confuse that with me wanting to "settle down" though, because I am certainly not ready for that. :) Which brings me to my next comment...

I am so picky, no wonder I am still single. Is that a bad thing? People sometimes tell me that I have pretty high standards, but I am fully confident that the right guy is out there for me somewhere in the world...stay tuned for any future details on that!

I feel like there are still so many things I am discovering about myself-- likes, dislikes, passions, you name it. My life is entirely different from how it was 2 or 3 years ago. On the outside a lot of things may appear to be the same-- most of the changes have been internal. My outlook and attitude has altered so much within the past year or so. I feel like I am at peace with everything and I am no longer looking back at the past or blaming anyone or anything for the way my life is going. I feel fully in control and ready to see where life takes me.

I have recently developed a creative side...I completed two amazing scrapbooks earlier this year that I am so proud of. I have also really started to get into photography, and of course, blogging. It is so therapeutic and I have had the pleasure of interacting with so many different kinds of people from all over the world. I feel like we are all united in some way.

I am completely obsessed with all-things relating to media and entertainment-- movies, theater, music, magazines, journalism, concerts, radio, television, you name it. I could spend hours in a bookstore. If the bookstore also carries films and CD's then I could pretty much be there all day! :) I somehow need to find a job that incorporates those things into my daily work routine. Speaking of jobs, I am currently unemployed and although I enjoyed it at first (sleeping in late, creating my own schedule, comfy clothes, blogging 24/7, etc.) it has quickly become rather depressing and I cannot wait to start a full-time job somewhere (soon, hopefully!).

Other random things that I adore: my friends and family, Disneyland, baseball, Sex & the City, shopping, elephants, zoos, flowers, Johnny Depp, makeup, rock/alt/folk/indie music, laughing, learning, shoes, traveling, candles, reading & writing, poetry, diet coke, handbags, history, research, bubble baths, and so much more.

the Ladies from the Blog ! [ Part 3 ] Valérie

2009-08-13T09:36:00.002+01:00

Ana, I love your idea and I enjoyed reading about Fran’s life and yours. Here’s my time now to tell you guys more about me. I already wrote an article to introduce myself here so I think I’m just going to give you a few new facts higgledy-piggledy.

I’m a whole contradiction. I’m shy and not shy at the same time: sometimes in big groups of people I’ll feel at ease, sometimes I won’t. The same in small groups. Maybe it just changes depending on my mood or the person who are in the room. Sometimes I’ll be extroverted, playing goofy and confident. Sometimes I won’t say anything and look like a little girl all intimidated.

There is this duality in every aspects of my life. Sometimes I enjoy being alone with a glass of wine and watching movies or reading book. Sometimes I feel like partying and hanging around with my friends. Sometimes I’m a working hard geek obsessed with culture and work. I’m super driven and responsible. Sometimes I’m so lazy that I stay in pyjamas all day long watching silly soaps and reading gossip magazines.

Recently, I found activities that satisfy both those sides though: working out. I run every weekend, I practice yoga 3 times a week or more, I meditate every day. As soon as I have time, I dance. I’ve practiced ballet and jazz for 7 years. I feel good in my body even though I won’t mind loosing a few pounds!

My life totally changed at the beginning of 2009. I get myself involved in many projects, launched my website and decided it was time for me to be happy and have the life I want. I have an addiction to self help, social media and business books. I read dozens of articles everyday on the web. I feel like I’m on the right track now and can’t wait to see what’s next. And it may be my problem. I would love to know the future. Since I don’t have this gift, I try to imagine how it could be and I elaborate strategies. I am check list addicted. I create check lists every day and even many times a day.
----------------------------------------------
Just did the Myers Brigg personnality test and I'm an ENFJ. Here's what it means:

As an ENFJ, you're primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. They have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest.

In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching.

ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present.

In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others.

About Fran on the move

2009-08-12T23:59:00.012+01:00

Hello everyone!

How have you guys been doing? Thank God I am doing really well. :o) Back to our group blog, I cannot agree more with the idea of posting a bit more about ourselves here. Thank you Ana for the great idea!! Here goes something about Fran myself...

Fran, that is me, was born in east coast China, in a small town in Tsingtao/ Qingdao. I have been moving all the way since I was 6. Moving seems to be a tradition passed down from my grandparents, and like it or not, it has become something that follows me along the way. At the age of 6, I moved to a somewhat inland city for school, a city where I stayed for 12 years. After that, I moved back to city in mountain area for university. Two years later, I had to move again, to somewhere in east coast and near Tsingtao/ Qingdao, as the campus was moving! After graduation, I moved to Qingdao, where I worked and stayed for 4 years. And now, I have just moved to Hamilton, ON, Canada to start a new life as a student again... And guess what, the School I am in is moving next year! So, Burlington is my next destination.

Sorry if I get you bored but these are really my footsteps.

Actually I was surprised by myself that I got quickly settled into the new place. I found a nice housing at a low price and I recovered from the jet lag. I am actually proud of myself as I made it all within 3 days after I landed here- I cannot make it any quicker. I have been really lucky so far and really am grateful because people are nice here and so willing to help. I am still looking around and getting to know the place better and I am enjoying it.

I used to be an ambitious student, a pathetic office lady who had to work all the time while seeing somebody else got the credit. My work was all about dealing with people- all kinds of people- and negotiating. When I quit, the boss said to me, "You have been doing THIS job for 4 years, there won't be anything that you cannot handle in your life." Exaggerated, but true in some way.

As for hobbies and stuff, I would say basically I am a dull person. I do not sing, I do not dance, I do not party, and sometimes I do not smile much (perhaps because I laugh most of the time)... I like taking photos of nature but I do not like being in them. I rarely work out but I like walking. Normally I do not ware high heels because I was once killed by them. I have a really bad memory so I cannot remember all the names of movies and songs, I cannot memories those brand names in the fashion scenario.

My list can go on and on. See how many things I cannot do, or do it well... But relax guys, I know the introduction about myself (especially last passage) is kind of weird, but basically I get along pretty well with almost everyone.

And I do think I can make myself and other people feel good by being positive, like...

starting this blog- I think it is the best thing that I have ever done!!

Even though I do remember names of movies, I like cool stuff which touches my heart. As for music, I like Chinese Classical, Linkin Park, Starsailor, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lene Marlin, Weird Al, and Alanis Morrissette of course.

I am a Gemini.

Just to finish this off, here are some pictures that I took in Mac university, where I study in...

Take great care guys!

Much love,
Fran

Masks

2009-08-12T08:02:00.001+01:00

We all wear masks. What is true and what is not?

With love. Deva.

The Ladies from this blog! a little bit about Ana

2009-08-10T04:30:00.002+01:00

Deva, Lisa, Fran, Sabz, Valerie... we all write for this awesome blog, and I think each one of us perhaps should post about where you live and things you like about your live. I tried to contact you by email, but only Deva and Lisa have it on their blogs. We all live in different parts of the globe and I think this could be something fun to do and would allow us to know more about each other. Also anyone who wants to comment feel free to let us know something about you! In my case I love to read about other people´s live and experiences or just fun facts.

I will start right now, by telling you something about me =). Hope you like the idea and participate...

I live in San Jose, Costa Rica... a extremely tiny country down Central America. According to some survey or study made by a British Firm (if I am not mistaken)... I live in the "happiest Country of the world" (not so sure about that). What do I like about here?... my bed, the mountains, family gatherings, my job, and how diverse it is becoming. But some day (not so far) I would love to work abroad in Europe or NY. My problem here is that there aren't that much options when it comes to dating. My ideal type of man, can't be found near this latitudes =(. In the mean time I find my ideal man, I like to think about decorating ideas for my room, how can I overcome my insecurities, and how am I going to become successful.

Right now I am working on a strategy to be more noticeable and attract success to my life (in the professional world). I love my job, but sometimes I get underestimated, so I have to do something. After reading “The Art of War” when I was in college, I became more of a strategy person instead of acting based on my feelings. But I do let the creativity go crazy, but in a calm way.

I love scrapbooking, making necklaces with beads, sushi, high heels, making outfits, applying sunscreen every day, meeting interesting people, blogging, reading blogs, yoga, meditation, and enjoying the small things about life (like a ladybug, a nice color, a smile). I don’t know if you ever saw this show “Ally McBeal”… of you did, you´ll understand how I picture my life. I always like to imagine things before that happen, but in a hilarious way.

I am so pissed that I won´t be able to go to the Depeche Mode concert because… I have no one to go with!!! And since this is Costa Rica, the next time they´ll come here will be… ever again. If it were a U2 concert I swear I would go alone, I love them.

Lately I´ve been collecting stuffed animals, I know… weird for an almost 24th year old, but it seems to be my new hobby. My biggest material treasures are: my Ipod, my Build-a-bear, my Tous purse, and my design books. And if you ever were sad, I wouldn´t be the best person to listen to your problems, but I would be the best one to make you laugh and have a good time. I don’t know why (Haven´t been able to find a scientific explanation) sometimes I am so funny, I even make myself laugh until my stomach hurts… sounds crazy I know!

I also have a blog and blogger crush, there´s this guy that is an awesome writer, and if he really is the one in that pic, he is so freaking hot!!! This is so platonic… but I like him more for how he writes that for what he looks like.
I once had my belly button pierced; it was when I became “rebel”. I love it, but at some point I got bored of it and just let it close again. It didn’t close properly, so now I have a hole in in belly button. When I analyze… I don’t know how I had the guts to go and pierce my belly!!! I am SO SCARED of needles.

Well ladies, here was a little (I know I wrote a lot… too much maybe) bit about me. Hope you write something about yourself too!

TO ALL WOMEN WHO ARE ON THEIR WAY TO WHERE THEY WANT TO BE...

2009-08-09T15:28:00.004+01:00

Hello Lovely Ladies,

Here is a song by Dixie Chicks, "Wide Open Spaces" . It reminds me about how I ventured out of my comfort zone to do what I always wanted to do.. This Song is especially dedicated to Fran, who is jsut trying familiarise herself in a new place..

njoi!

Sabz

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about?

Who's never left home, who's never stuck out?

To find a dream and a life of their own

A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone

Many precede and many will follow

A young girls dreams no longer follow

It takes the shape of a place out of west

But what it holds for her, she hasnt yet guessed

She needs Wide Open Spaces

Room to make her big mistakes

She needs new faces

She knows the highest stakes

She travelled this road as a child

Wide-eyed and grinning, she never tired

But now she won't be coming back with the rest

If these are life's lessons, she'll take this test

She needs Wide Open Sapces

Room to make her big mistakes

She needs new faces

She knows the highest stakes

She knows the higest stakes

As her folks drive away, her dad yells. 'Check the oil'

Her mom stares out the window and says, 'I'm leaving my girl'

She says 'It didnt seem like that long ago'

When she stood there and let her own folks know

She needs Wide Open Spaces

Room to make her own mistakes

She needs new faces

She knows the highest stakes

Sabz

Hello from Fran in Canada :o)

2009-08-08T11:13:00.017+01:00

Hi everyone!

It has been ages since last time I posted here. Just would like to let you know that I am still alive. :o) I am in Canada now, have not yet settled in but I believe things will be better next week. Thank you for keep posting here. I really cannot wait to read on all your blogs and comment!

Best of love and luck,
Fran

I got these pictures from HERE.

How to not… get annoyed by people! OMG!!

2009-08-08T01:44:00.001+01:00

(This post is based on Alexander Kjerulf’s article: “How not to let annoying people annoy you”)

I am a positive person, I try to see only the good stuff and ignore the bad one, but today I am pissed!!! I haven’t felt this angry in years, yesterday I really wanted to hit someone. This is not me… but I am human and will fail sometimes. The best thing one can do is to look for help, it can be your parents, a shrink, Google, or whatever makes you happy. I found an interesting article at an interesting web site.

Annoying people… GOD!!! They are annoying. As much as you try, it´s hard to ignore them let’s be honest. I always allow myself to be angry for like 10 minutes, and then go back to life. During those 10 min I can yell, curse, whatever makes me feel better without hurting anyone. But here are some other strategies for when you feel your head is boiling.

1: Staying calm means you don’t do something you regret later: Sometimes when you get really mad, you may end up doing something rash. If you can stay calm, you’re more likely to choose constructive actions.

2: Getting mad often means staying mad: If you get annoyed here and now, that bad mood may last for a long time.

3: When you stay calm, you really annoy those who want to annoy others: If that person is truly out to annoy you, the very best way to annoy them back is to stay cool. Deny them the satisfaction of getting you riled. They hate that.

4: You only harm yourself: Getting annoyed really harms no one but you.

5: Getting annoyed makes it easier to get mad the next time: You start a cycle of anger – which means it takes less and less to set you off.

6: Dreaming of revenge is bad for you: This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well. - Francis Bacon

7: Getting annoyed makes the memory stronger: Anything you experience while having a strong emotion, will be etched permanently in your mind. This is why some people can remember every little detail of that incident 8 years ago where some jerk cut them off on the highway. The problem is that the memory becomes so strong that it keeps coming back to you and keeps annoying you for years.

8: Instead of getting mad at annoying people – feel sorry for them: Jerks are very often jerks because they feel bad themselves. Hating them is really a waste of time – feel sorry for them instead.

9: Sometimes you’re at fault and blowing up just makes it worse
Sometimes it turns out, that the whole thing is actually your own fault. If you previously blew up at someone, then you look really silly…

10: It’s not about you
Most jerks you will meet are not really out to get you, personally – this is how they treat everyone.

11: It may not be intentional at all Maybe they have absolutely no idea that they’re annoying you.

12: Losing your temper makes you look bad Even if you’re in the right in the situation, if you lose your temper you can end up looking silly, petty or unreasonable.

13: Laugh about it: Most workplace jerk behavior is annoying sure, but when you really look at it, it’s mostly pathetic and ridiculous. Laugh at it, rather than get annoyed.

14: Is it a case of projection?: Few things annoy us more than other people displaying the same weaknesses and faults as we fear we have ourselves. If a person really, really ticks you off, maybe that person is just making you think about some weak sides you’d rather not admit you have.

15: Maybe it’s an honest mistake: And most of all: People make mistakes. Don’t read too much into it when people do inconsiderate things. It may simply be an honest mistake.

So yes… Jerks are very often jerks because they feel bad themselves. Hating them is really a waste of time. But allow yourself for a few seconds at least to throw away all that bad energy that is created, don’t keep it inside.
I can´t believe I got so annoyed I wanted to hit someone… I hate violence! Now that I feel a little better, I can see and analyze my mistakes while dealing with this situations.

Leave your worries behind

2009-08-05T12:43:00.004+01:00

Growing up, my mom worked for a magazine distribution company. As a result, our household was constantly filled with hundreds of different magazines each month. I can recall reading Psychology Today many times as a young girl, but it hasn't been until my "adult" years that I have truly started to appreciate some of the articles written in them.

Anyway, this week has sort of started out with a negative tinge to it (all of those fun details can be seen on my blog), but although we all get down from time-to-time, it is essential for all of us to be strong enough to bring ourselves out of a rut and brighten our spirits.

Psychology Today has posted seven carefree activities that may well brighten your mood. I can tell you that all of these definitely work!

Ride a Roller Coaster: Leave your worries behind when you let go of the handlebars, then feel the wind on your face as you swoop down the crest. The rush comes from the release of epinephrine, or adrenaline, and norepinephrine. Norepinephrine is the target of a type of antidepressant called a norepinephrine-reuptake inhibitor, and increasing its function can help raise your mood. Activities like riding a roller coaster allow your body to activate norepinephrine function naturally.
Berries in Chocolate: Consuming chocolate and other sweets can activate receptors in the brain's reward center. If you're feeling a loss of pleasure, the neurotransmitter dopamine, which fuels the brain's reward system, may not be operating at top speed. Recent research in depression has focused on dopamine. One tasty way to prime this reward pathway may be to satisfy your sweet tooth with a healthy treat.
A Day at the Beach: Put on those board shorts and catch some sun-dappled waves. Although you should use sunscreen, research from Australia shows that spending time in sunlight boosts your serotonin production. Yes, many of us do get depressed without sunlight. The brighter the forecast, the higher serotonin levels rise. A low serotonin level has long been a primary indicator of depression and other mood disorders, so naturally a spike in this neurotransmitter could help you beat the blues. Besides, you can enjoy a little eye-candy, too.
Massage, With Love: There's nothing more relaxing after a long day than a back massage, and all the better when it's given by someone near and dear. Oxytocin, a neurochemical released during social activities, especially those involving touch, can reduce levels of stress. And chronic stress increases the risk of depression. In fact, just holding hands with a friend or hugging your dog can boost oxytocin. In one study, subjects were given an oxytocin boost through a nasal spray, and asked to spend time with a friend. These subjects had lower levels of stress than subjects who only spent time with a friend or those who received an oxytocin boost alone.
A Big, Wet Kiss. The moon reflects off the pond, but you don't notice because you're busy locking lips. Saliva is full of testosterone, so when a guy kisses a girl he transmits the male androgen to her. And a woman's delicate hormonal balance requires a certain level of testosterone—studies have shown that lower levels can be a drag on a girl's mood. Depressed men often have lower levels of testosterone, so they benefit from a rise too. Talk about a connection that transcends.
Hit the Seafood Buffet: Tie on that plastic bib and enjoy a meal fit for a king. Make sure your plate is lined with salmon steak or other foods rich in Omega-3 fatty acids. Not consuming enough Omega-3 can contribute to depression, and because we cannot synthesize these special fatty acids in our own bodies, they must come from our diet. Animal studies show that deficiencies in Omega-3s lead to a 50 percent depletion of serotonin and dopamine levels. The health benefits of fish abound. As Jerry Seinfeld said, "Why are fish so thin? They eat fish."
Take a Hike: A brisk walk or jog is a great excuse to get a breath of fresh air. What's more, moderate exercise increases brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a chemical messenger that allows brain cells to grow. BDNF mediates new connections and growth in the hippocampus, a brain region involved in forming new memories that often shrinks during depression. What more can you ask for? Besides boosting mood and helping your brain grow, exercise is also a great way to work up an appetite.

Have any other tips to add to the list?

-Lisa

Speaking Skills

2009-08-04T21:10:00.004+01:00

This will be a short post but I guess that you [amazingly smart, strong and independant 20somethings] will find it useful.

Both in our professional and personal lives, we have been/are/will be confronted to public speaking. Not everybody is able to master those speaking skills. This requires a little help and sometimes therapy if you have a real problem of self confidence.

However, I might have a solution to help you avoiding therapy: Have you ever heard of Toastmasters? It is a non profit organization whose purpose is to help people "become more competent and comfortable in front of an audience". They organize workshops in more than 12,500 clubs in 106 countries! I know it's a recognized organization in the business world so don't hesitate to trust them. If you want to have more information, I highly recommend you to check out their website and eventually contact them: www.toastmasters.org

Believe in yourself and rock the world ladies !
Valérie

Management Training Course - wink!

2009-08-04T18:11:00.005+01:00

Please see the 5 minute Miller Heiman management training course:

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

Have a great evening! Deva!

*source - my email!

TO FRIENDSHIP & MORE

2009-08-02T09:04:00.002+01:00

Happy Friendships Day to one and all.
Like always the first Sunday in August is celebrated as Friendships Day in India. I am not sure if the same culture exists abroad on the same day. But nonetheless its Friendships Day here in India . Since morning I have been flooded with text messages on my phone wishing me the same. Some are genuinely typed sms's and some are just random forwards. I haven't returned a single greeting as of now. because I do not want to casually say things that I don't feel from the heart. Friendships are a touchy subject for me. When I look back, Bad friendships are what made me what I am today. And I mean it. Bad company does not always mean that your company involves all sorts of illicit acts, drugs, alcohol, stealing, sex etc etc..Bad Company in my case certainly signifies people with loose morals and wicked minds.

I studied in a Catholic Convent Girls School. I hated School . The girls and the so-called friends made life hell for me. And my tryst with bad friends was not limited to just school. I had bad friends everywhere. In my residential complex, tuition's, just about everywhere. For a very long time I used to think that something was terribly wrong with me that I attracted such negativity in my life.

Just a day ago, this girl from my class in School called me. Her name is Komal. Komal is a daughter of a rich real-estate builder and has always had the best of everything. Back in school, financial conditions at home were really hand to mouth for me. I remember always feeling low by her side. She used to behave in phases. Sometimes sweet to me and sometimes nasty. The worst thing she ever did to me after which I broke all contacts with her post school was, when she planned to take 4 of us from class for a fun-filled picnic day. And made me waiting the whole day while the rest of the 3girls (including her) went off to the picnic. She always did this. always made a mockery out of me. I hated her. A small part of me sill hates her..I was surprised when she called the other day after ages to tell me that she came across this birthday card I had gifted her back then, and felt nostalgic. though, I was cordial with her ..I could not forget but think how she misbehaved with me always. Some rich girls like to be nasty..

Anyways! I trust men more than girls when it comes to friendships. I have some fabulous support system in a few men who are my best friends. After my bad tryst with girls back in school and everywhere, I am always wary of friendships with women. But then it is a very individual opinion. I am sure you have different things to say.

On this friendships Day! I would like to thank all the bad people or rather bad friends for being who they are..Because it is only them who have made me realise that I am far better human being and they also made me realise that I deserve better in life...

PS: I have found a friend in each and everyone of you who contributes on this blog. And yes, though I have some pre-conceived notions about female bonding, I am still trying to think otherwise... Love you all.. Thank you friends

Sabz

Hey sexy !

2009-07-31T17:19:00.000+01:00

Isn’t summer the best part of the year ? It’s sunny and warm all the time. You feel a different kind of energy than the one in winter. I couldn’t help but noticed there seems to be more and more beautiful women everywhere. Were they hiding during winter and spring ? or does summer has an impact on the way we look ?

I was hanging around with some male friends and they were talking about women being sexy and what they felt was appealing. Their answers were: she’s tanned, she has a great smile, she’s wearing a skirt/dress … We were in my town but they all felt like we were on vacation near the beach! It’s like women seemed to be relaxed, happy and having fun. Have you noticed that none of their answers are making reference to stuff like big boobs or slenderness? It sounds more like a state of mind ( and obviously a way of dressing up for my friends). It’s kind of close to my definition of a sexy woman.

First of all, I need to make clear I like the Cameron Diaz kind of sexy (definitely not Pamera Anderson’s style). I like a cute tan (and I’m not talking about the orange one due to numerous UV rays), a white big smile, cute eyes sparkling but more important, a sexy woman trusts in herself and is happy with her physical appearance and personality. She’s smiling and just enjoying her life. To me, smile and confidence make all the difference. What about you ? How would you define a sexy woman?

This is a wedding entrance dance!

2009-07-31T12:27:00.004+01:00

This is a wedding entrance dance!

I would love to have one like that! It gives me a belief that wedding doesn't have to be boring and tense. Look how happy they are!!! They did it for themselves, they had fun and big pleasure doing it!

Here you can go to their website and donate for a good case. They thought it would be wonderful to help others through the popularity of their wedding entrance dance.
How amazing is that?

Much love. Deva.

Happiness...one day at a time.

2009-07-26T23:48:00.006+01:00

I am going to be brutally honest here when I tell you that it has taken me a very long time to become a happy and positive person. In fact, I am not fully there quite yet. No, I am not Miss Negativity, but I have spent a large portion of my late teens/early twenties with a little bit of a jaded and unenthusiastic attitude towards things, particularly my future (relationships and career, mostly).

In the past, I would always ask myself questions like "Why not me?!" or "Why can't I have/become/accomplish/ that?" It wasn't until last year when I was 22 that I realized I am the only one in control of creating and maintaining my own inner happiness. No one else can be held responsible. No person can make me happy...true happiness lies within my own hands, and my hands only. Everything or everyone else just adds an extra dose of happiness to my life. :) I can honestly tell you that a positive and optimistic attitude is one of the greatest traits you can have...my life has been so different since adopting this new way of thinking. I wish I could take back all of the years I spend wishing instead of creating, or sulking instead of celebrating.

Below is an article that I read online at Cosmopolitan discussing happiness and the secret ways to become a happier person. The article isn't too deep or life-changing, but it does remind us to live in the moment and appreciate happy moments and to not dwell on the past or on things that you are not in control of. What do you to maintain a positive outlook on life?

-Lisa

The Surprising Way to Feel Happier:
There’s a proven technique to getting more pleasure out of life: staying in — and savoring — the moment. Sounds easy, but it takes a few mental tricks to accomplish.

Question: What were you doing right before started reading this article? You may have been sipping a latte or listening to music, but chances are, your head was elsewhere — ruminating about something from the past or plotting about the future, like that guy you hope will call or the Hawaiian island you plan to visit once you can finally take off time from work. It's a perfectly common state of being. But by never experiencing the moment, we miss the chance to savor life's many small pleasures, like that latte and chocolate-chip scone. In fact, studies show that simply being aware of what's happening this minute is linked to greater optimism, self-confidence, and happiness.

Of course, the question is, how do you stay mindful like that? Well, it takes some effort, honestly. There are distractions in every modern woman's life that make just being in the present difficult. But once you see what the snags are, you can navigate around them to a more pleasurable existence. "And when you're not distracted by all the things you're juggling mentally, you see things with more clarity," says psychologist Sylvia Boorstein, PhD, author of Happiness Is an Inside Job. "That helps you make better decisions and be more resilient when you hit hard times." So start here to free yourself from the stuff that holds you back from being happy right about now.

Goal 1: Savor the Mini Moments
Part of what makes your 20s and 30s so awesome are celebrations that spotlight how far you've come as an adult. But those graduations, engagements, and promotions aren't finish lines. They're just markers along the path.

"Investing too much emotion in thinking about exactly how you'll feel when something big happens — like 'I will be so happy when I'm finally walking down the aisle' — may prevent you from enjoying what actually happens," says Daniel Siegel, MD, author of The Developing Mind and associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California at Los Angeles. "The end result may not look quite the way you thought it would...or even appear at all."

Tunnel vision also blinds you to joyful mini experiences you could be enjoying along the way. "We're so anxious to get to that yearly vacation with friends that we can overlook fun, impromptu girls' nights out or chats over coffee," says life coach Valorie Burton, author of How Did I Get So Busy?

How to pull it off: Make a conscious effort to notice how ordinary events can swell into extraordinary pleasure. "Focus on the sensory power in your routines, like how great your guy smells when you cuddle or the first delicious bite of your lunch," says Burton. Also, treat yourself to three little things each day that make you happy, whether it's meeting a friend for mani/pedis or walking by your cute coworker's office just to get a glimpse.

Goal 2: Do One Simple Thing at a Time
Your talent for doing about 83 tasks at once gives you superstar status at work. That instinct sneaks into life off the clock too. You can't just cook dinner — you have to do it with the TV on mute while chatting with Mom as music plays in the background. Hell of a downtime.

"For whatever reason, women often feel guilty if they're not accomplishing several meaningful things simultaneously," says Boorstein. But teaming up on activities saps your ability to delight in individual experiences. "And the ironic part is, you can't even remember doing half those important tasks because your brain allocates focal attention to only one thing at a time," explains Dr. Siegel.

How to pull it off: Once and for all, ditch the "Do something!" guilt complex and realize that not every moment has to be an exercise in superwomandom. "It is enough to just spend a few minutes laughing at a stupid YouTube video or lounging on the couch with your head on your boyfriend's lap," says Boorstein.

Goal 3: Take a Breather from Your Totally Wired World
In theory, posting up-to-the-nanosecond reflections on your mood on Facebook or Twitter is the epitome of staying in the moment. But publicizing real-time emotions makes you like that chick at a party who can't stop snapping photos. "You're so busy documenting the present for other people or so you can reflect on it later that you don't even register your own emotions," says Dr. Siegel. "And you end up feeling numb or scattered instead."

Also, you wonder, What would my boss think? Or that guy who just friended me? By the time you've tweaked your update, you've censored what you really feel or forgotten your impulse to post it in the first place.

How to pull it off: Take a hiatus from posting status updates online. "Not having to process everything for an audience will help you home in on what's happening now and enjoy moments as they come," explains Burton. And if you get the urge to share, do it the old-fashioned way: Call a friend. Also, check e-mail or Facebook three set times per day. "It gives you something to look forward to, but you won't feel enslaved by it," says Burton.

Goal 4: Liberate Yourself from the Past
Everyone gets drop-kicked by life at some point. And as a smart chick, your inclination is to ponder your way out of a problem: How could I have been so stupid as to date him? or Why do people act this way? But getting hung up on the whys can be just as damaging as the blow that knocked you off your game in the first place.

"Women ruminate over past mistakes or hurts, believing that if they just think about them hard enough, they'll see a solution or sign of closure," says Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, PhD, author of Women Who Think Too Much. Here's the reality: For many dilemmas, no amount of head-scratching will ever deliver an epiphany. Adds Nolen-Hoeksema: "Even if you're aware that you need to do something to get over a bad situation, you'll be less likely to take action if you let yourself think about factors out of your control, such as what motivated someone to hurt you."

How to pull it off: Rather than feel hamstrung by the mysterious behavior of others, free yourself to take action on your own terms. "Examine what you can do differently the next time, resolve to do that, then move on," says Nolen-Hoeksema. And when obsessive thoughts launch their insidious attack, distract yourself. Take 30 seconds to breathe slowly and deeply, concentrating on the in-and-out sensation. "It's so simple — just five breaths can clarify your thoughts and help balance your feelings," says Dr. Siegel.

Emotionally Slutty

2009-07-26T18:41:00.003+01:00

Hey Ladies!

I know you all love quoting and discussing Sex And The City. It's like THE reference for us and I'd like today to share with you the article of Mel [her blog is awesome by the way] on being "emotionally slutty" (Carrie Bradshaw). I'd love to know your thoughts on this topic.
Just to tell you a little bit more about Mel, she's pursuing a Ph.D. in the behavioral sciences and she writes about a wide range of subjects such as psychology, social sciences, dating ...etc.

Here is her article "Emotionally Slutty"
"
"I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty." -Carrie Bradshaw, "Sex and the City"

In yet another way that the ladies and writers of SATC have managed to describe a uniquely bizarre and unsettling moment in my life, Carrie brought us the idea of being emotionally slutty. I, regularly emotionally retarded (literally, other people learned how to handle emotions and I try to fake it and teach myself), have had moments where I've felt emotionally slutty. Sometimes it's really just because I'm so closed off that any attempts at letting others in make me feel naked, exposed, and I soon feel slutty and regret it.

But recently, I did it again with my recently close male friend. I sort of just told him some of the stuff about my family... I really don't know why. I guess I wanted to see if he had already heard rumors (because he's connected to me through school distantly, but we know mostly the same people) and I wanted to see how he'd react, what he'd say. I guess I also wanted him to know that while I'm normally an emotional mess, I'm particularly weird and messy these days (though I feel like I have to stop using that excuse because all of this stuff has been happening for so long, but at the same time, everything still applies). He reacted well, I think, mostly tried to understand and he did try to make me feel better - I asked for personal details about his life and he complied.

I just feel bad about it and don't know how to fix it. I'm thinking that I don't talk to him for a week and then pretend it never happened... normally I know that's a bad plan, but for now, when I feel like I've already been too open and had too much talk about feelings (because seriously, I want to keep hanging out with him and watch more sports and I want to go on his hikes because girls can't go alone, while guys can and it's tough finding people nowadays). I honestly don't even know if I have a crush on him, but the whole thing is definitely extra-weird because we have become a pseudo-couple and it would be easier for everyone else if we were dating, but I just can't even think about that right now, though I feel like any of that tension is exacerbated by my uncontrollable word vomit.

So, do you guys have any ideas? How do you fix emotionally-slutty-slips? Is there an equivalent to an emotional garbage bag I can wear to turn my feelings into a grab bag of mystery and illusions?"

___
Val

Tips for Living a Kick-Ass Life

2009-07-26T04:08:00.006+01:00

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.

Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.

What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.

So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.

3. Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.

If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. They might just go: “OK”.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder - on your fridge or bathroom door - of what you can actually do with your life.

Source of this post.

Changing The Header

2009-07-25T01:25:00.005+01:00

Hello everyone!

The header of this group blog has been there for a while. Deva suggested a change the other day and honestly I have been thinking about something different, too... So I guess it is time to start a brainstorm!

A new header with images of us (our team members). Is it a good idea? Images with special effects (black & white, coloured, cartooned, or anything like that) may be cool I guess?

And I think putting up pictures (with links) of us (our team members) will add some fun, too. What do you think?

Any suggestions or recommendations? Please comment and let me know! :o)

Happy weekend to you all!!

Fran

And I quote...

2009-07-24T22:55:00.015+01:00

I know that quoting other people may seem like a pretty lazy way to debut my first "real" post on Ladies, Say What You Say!, but I am definitely in the mood for some words of wisdom so I thought I'd share some of my favorites of the day with all of you. I can honestly say that I am addicted to quotes. Every time I hear a quote that really touches me or makes me pause for a brief moment and think about things, I make sure to jot it down on a notepad or keep a mental note of it.

Sometimes, I find that other people have the unique and talented ability to flawlessly string together a group of words that, somehow, perfectly capture my very own thoughts and emotions. Years and years of unidentifiable (and indescribable) feelings can often be pinpointed and recognized by someone other than myself, simply by the act of reiterating an honest, simple phrase-- one that exemplifies exactly how I am feeling. Music and song lyrics do the same.

Below I have posted just a very small example of what I consider to be some of my most favorite quotes...

Do you have any special quotes that you look to for inspiration?

- Lisa

*All photos/quotes found here.

Detachment

2009-07-24T10:26:00.009+01:00

Hey Ladies!

Happy Friday! Long time no "Featuring You". Here is a cute post for today, recommended by Deva. Thank you Deva!

Now girls enjoy reading! Unfortunately I am unable to upload photos. There should be a picture included for this post.

Best,
Fran

Detachment (http://2020crayola.blogspot.com/2009/06/detachment.html)
By "Crayola" (http://2020crayola.blogspot.com/)

When I was 9 years I got married to who I thought would be my elementary school sweetheart, Sanjeet. He and I got married at recess. He made me a flower ring by tying the stem of the flower to make a circle. We broke up later on because our fake son told me that he was cheating on me with this thick girl named Reginae. Our fake son lied....that was my first break up. Since then there has been

1. Soccer
2. D. Rob
3. Batts
4. Mike
5. Mr. Carter
6. Swales

Five out of six of the aforementioned relationships ended up with me getting my feelings hurt. Thats not okay. And five out of six of them, I actually put forth effort to try to rekindle or make things work out. I still pushed for the idea of a possibility instead of accepting the natural way that things were suppose to happen. For instance, D. Rob, my boyfriend from 10th to 12th grade really did me a favor by breaking up with me...now, he is working at some mortician place with a 2 yr old daughter and baby mama who apparently had sex with one of his friends. I dont talk to him often at all but he doesnt seem to have it all. If I woulda stayed with him, i would be that baby mama-ugh. I would not have been able to access my own power and potential because his bad luck and energy would have rubbed off on my, like it does when sex happends, and I too would have been unsuccessful at age 21. It took for him to transfer school for me to completely detach myself from him. Just like I am beginning to see that I will have to do with each of my other exes. I need to focus soley on self and stop putting forth effort to shit that i know is not going to work out. Im bouta stop fighting for shit that isnt fighting for me.

Sooo Im making a resolution, in light of my new found single, black womanhood, I will date:

No scrubs lol
Men who commit to me as much as I commit to them
Men who wipe their own ass
Men who inspire me, not so much as the other way around
Men who match my fly
Men who dont try to be cool
Men who are cool with out effort
Men who like Malcolm X, etc.
Men who aspire to work in leadership positions
Men who can dance as good as I can
Men who can talk about politics
Men who can cook
Men who insist and help me learn how to cook
Men who have a mind of their own
Men who are gentlemen
Men who wont be threatened by me
Men who recognized that I am a Empress
Men are in the process of getting their shit together
Family men
Men who havent been arrested
Men who can tell me whats wrong with my car
Men who are fun
Men who play fight

The list is long but I dont think that the things that Im asking for are out of reach. I fit into all the aforementioned categories. I mean, really, is it too much to ask for someone who is equally yoked???

thats all i got for now...

THE SECRET..

2009-07-23T06:04:00.015+01:00

I am not an avid reader. But I do read when I have the time and the attention to spare. Ok, basically I am a very restless soul. And the last time a book really got me into it was Memoirs Of a Geisha. But I would like to write about this one book that really changed a lot in my life with thorough practice. THE SECRET by Rhonda Bryne. Its been a best seller across the globe since it hit the stands so I am sure you have seen the cover of this book at some point even if you haven't read the book.

The Secret teaches us how to attract all the things that we ever desired. Be it Health, Wealth etc etc..I applied The Secret in my own way a lot of times. Even the fact that I became an Entertainment & Lifestyle journalist in a years time of joining the channel was an exercise of The Secret. In January this year, I had made a list of things that I wanted to achieve professionally in this year. One of the things included becoming a Reporter. Not only I did become a reporter but also I am now on my way to conquer other things that will have a significant impact in my career.

The Secret talks about the Law Of Attraction. Its talks about how all that happens to us is because we conceptualised it to be that way. The Secret is very much on the line of the book The Power of your Subconscious Mind. "What you think is what makes you." Frankly, I'd heard this a zillion times before but never gave it much thought; least of all expected it to work.But honestly after reading The Secret, I started believing it. I don't know how long will this good feeling last, considering that I experience it after reading any self-help book. But something tells me, this will work and that I am not alone in believing that. Although there is no denying that it is a self-help book, but what makes it truly convincing is that there are no jargon's or spiritual guru gyaan. Just simple facts that urge you to change the way you think. Yes, it is that easy. But then I know there are skeptics who would say it is not so easy to control your thoughts. Some thoughts are such that the more you try to let them go, the more they will haunt you.The book doesn't claim it's easy, there is some hard work to do, but if you believe and think that you can earn millions, the truth is you can. All that requires is that you don't let go of that thought and trust it implicitly. Lets all apply a Secret today. Think of one thing that you have been really wanting for a long time or may be something that you want in the short term.

Ok, I am applying a Secret here right now. Lets see if it materialises. And if it does then I have some really cool tales to share.

THE SECRET 1: As a journalist, I have been meaning to do a lot of constructive interviews with celebrities. Here is a list of celebrities that I would like to interview. Off course when you read their names you will not know them since they are from the Bollywood Film industry. But here it is.

AAMIR KHAN, Film Actor:
He is one of the finest Actors in the indian film industry. And I have been his fan forever now. My family is crazy about him. They admire everything he does. I would like to do a sit down interview with him. An exclusive one for my channel at that..

SHWETA TIWARI, TV Actor:
She is one of the most Talented Actresses on the TV. She has given some incredible performances. I would like to have a Up Close and Personal interview with her on her Career, Her failed marriage and life in general..

ANNE HATTHWAY, Hollywood Actor:
She is one of my favourite Hollywood Heroines after Reese Witherspoon and Julia Roberts. I would love to interview her someday. I was completely in awe of her after I watched Devil Wears Prada. She is Super- cool..

KAL PENN, Hollywood Actor:
Now this man is from Indian Descent and was a complete rock star in The Namesake. I would really love to take him around Delhi and interview him while travelling the city. Wow! I am already excited.

ANCHOR A SHOW : I have always wanted to be a News Anchor. I would love to Anchor one special Entertainment show this year.

THE SECRET 2
I have never been abroad. So I would like to attract a foreign travel opportunity for myself this year. Atleast one out of the tree places listed below should happen this year..

PARIS :
THAILAND :

USA :

Allright then my wish list is here. Actually there is more on the wish list but, For starters lets watch out for this one..

So, Ladies try to practice The Secret . Atleast try once. try with small things. And do let me know the results..

Love
Sabz

Listen deep inside

2009-07-23T04:12:00.003+01:00

Hello Ladies, say what you say!!! This is my first post; sorry that I didn’t do this since the day I was invited to this blog. I´m really happy about posting here, I actually WANT to post! I´m kind of tired of having to post everyday in my blog, it has become a “have to” instead of a “want to” but oh well, I got myself into that.

I´ve been thinking about what can I write here. This has to be a post I really want to share with you guys! What I love the most about this is the way this idea came to my mind. It was so spontaneous… like a drop of water, just fell into my head. It came from inside, it was actually my inner voice speaking (in case you are wondering… no, I’m not crazy!)

Intuition: according to Wikipedia, this is the "ability to sense or know immediately without reasoning”. It comes like a reflex, a response to a thought, question, or life situation. It is that voice deep inside your head that quietly guides you through life.

Ignoring it is easy but listening to it not. You also have to be objective for making life’s decisions, and intuition is purely “subjective”. But at the same time, it always has an automatic response for anything you think inside your brain. Pay attention, EVERY time that you ask yourself something it ALWAYS gives you an answer. In my case, that voice was right 90% of the time.

I truly believe in it, but I don’t act impulsively based on it. An answer is given, then I analyze it carefully… all pros and cons. When the possibilities are 50/50 I give it the “benefit of the doubt” and then just do what it says.

All this makes me wonder… where does it come from? How come it can be right most of the times!

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

2009-07-22T16:29:00.004+01:00

I have received an email with these photos and I can tell you just one thing. They amazed me!

May you always have love to share,
Health to spare, and Friends that care

Polar Bear: I come in Peace

Norbert Rosing's striking images of a wild polar bear coming upon
tethered sled dogs in the wilds of Canada 's Hudson Bay.

The photographer was sure that he was going to see the end of his dogs when the
polar bear wandered in.

It ' s hard to believe that this polar bear only needed to hug someone!

The Polar Bear returned every night that week to play with the dogs.

Best of love. Deva.

*I have no rights to these photos. I received them via email. If anyone feel offended by publishing them. Please contact me and I will remove them immediately.

The Perfect Diner.

2009-07-22T12:31:00.000+01:00

If you could invite five people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would it be?

My 5 guests would be:
- Audrey Hepburn: She has been my role model since I'm a teen. I watched all her movies, paid attention to her late years when she was doing a lot of volunteer work and I even bought a bible about her (meaning a huge biography ha!). There's no doubt she will be right on my left at the table !
- Oprah Winfrey: She has so much power and she has done a long road to be where she is now. I'd love to know more about her and how she really is in real life.
- Reese Witherspoon: She is smart, intelligent, beautiful and she's dating Jake G. ! Need other reasons ? I love all her movies, especially Legally Blondes. It gave me a lot of strentgh when nobody around me believed in my abilities to succeed in college.
- Stefanie Michaels (Adventure girl): it's no surprise for all of you guys that know me a little already: I love traveling and this woman basically went all over the world thanks to her job as a travel writer/ journalist/author. She is paid to travel the world and write, tweet (more recently) and enjoy every part of her adventures !
- Carla Bruni Sarkozy: She seems to be very beautiful, classy, intelligent. She has a Jackie Kennedy side that I would like to see closer.

Well that's an all women diner but I'm usually more inspired by women. Don't ask me why... I don't know. Maybe because I can relate and identify myself more easily than with men.

Do you know there is a constellation in an apple?

2009-07-22T10:13:00.005+01:00

Kid: Daddy! What is a constellation?
Daddy: A collection of stars.
Kid: And where is it?
Daddy: In the sky.
Kid: Daddy! Do you know there is a constellation in an apple?
Daddy: ... Huh???
Kid: Looooooooook!!!!

Daddy: ... You win! (Hugs)

Sometimes kids know it better.

Best of love,
Fran

My music addiction!

2009-07-21T14:03:00.005+01:00

My music addiction!

I love RnB and I love Aaliyah. She's gone way too soon! She would make an unbelievable music nowadays. Well I still have her collections and her music will stay with us forever.

I came back to this couple of her songs which stick to my head since yesterday.

Erica Kane

I miss you

One in a million

We need a resolution

I wonder which one you like the most and of course I hope you all enjoyed it.

Best of love. Deva.

9 Ways to Be a Powerful Woman

2009-07-21T07:26:00.004+01:00

I'm a big fan of Alexandra Levit who is a business and workplace author and speaker, specialized in Gen Y. She recently wrote an article for her blog that I wanted to share with you. She reveals the secret of Catherine Kaputa, a brand strategist, on how to boost business success. Most of us are working or have worked, done internship ...Etc. so I thought it could interest you.

9 Ways to Be a Powerful Woman

Catherine Kaputa is a brand strategist, speaker, and the founder of SelfBrand LLC, a NYC-based personal branding firm. According to Catherine, now that women exert overwhelming influence in the business world they can make even more progress if they learn how to leverage their distinctly female aptitudes. Here are nine ways women can use their innately female traits to boost business success:

1. Tune in emotionally: Women are especially intuitive and empathetic, thanks in part to higher levels of hormones such as estrogen and oxytocin. Catherine’s advice: Use these emotionally driven strengths to be open and responsive to others' feelings and build strong and healthy work relationships.

2. Create an attractive package: Attractive people not only make more money, but are viewed as being smarter and more competent than others. Women possess an advantage here, too, having more "visual aids" to work with than men do. Catherine’s advice: Accentuate your best features, and develop a distinct look with a signature color, accessories, shoes, and so on. If you don't have the body of a fashion model, then do something wonderful with your hair and clothing. Work on your posture and gait. Think about what your visual image conveys, and find visual "props" that add originality and make a powerful statement.

3. Reach out: The larger your network, the more career capital you'll acquire--great news for women, who are natural-born networkers and team builders. Catherine's advice: Make and keep friends. Ask others for help, ideas, and feedback. And continually grow your network of colleagues, advisers, and mentors.

4. Communicate well: Women routinely outscore men on oral and written tests because they use both hemispheres of the brain--left and right--to process verbal, visual, and emotional stimuli. (Men tend to use only the left, "logical" side of the brain when verbalizing.) Catherine’s advice: Ask great questions, listen, and hone your business conversation and presentation skills. Become known for being a master communicator in both speaking and writing.

5. Be inclusive: Choosing inclusion over exclusivity is an inherent female strength and a powerful advantage in today's diverse, globalized workplace. Catherine’s advice: Commit to inviting as many perspectives as possible and extending goodwill to everyone--friends and foes. Cultivate strong alliances, and be loyal.

6. Read between the lines: MRI studies show that women are much better at picking up subtle emotional messages than men are. This makes them especially attuned to body language and able to detect unspoken signals of distress, confusion, or other emotions, such as frustration. Catherine’s advice: Pay attention to what's going on behind the scenes. In meetings, for example, if something feels incomplete or not talked about, act on your hunch and initiate a follow-up phone conversation.

7. Empower others: Gender studies show that girls tend to work together, forming a kind of committee, in order to accomplish tasks. This inclusiveness helps everyone in the group succeed. Catherine’s advice: The highly collaborative style of females is increasingly valuable in today's interconnected global business environment. Lead in a way that doesn't seek to have power over people, but empowers others instead. Create teams and a "personal board of directors" who can advise you--and be sure to include men too. Give public credit to people when they contribute.

8. Be a big picture thinker: Studies show that women tend to take in multiple perspectives and consider a wide range of tangential elements when solving a problem or coming to a decision, while men's style of problem solving is different--more linear and more narrowly focused. Catherine’s advice: Leverage your enhanced ability to be a big picture thinker so you can bring more creativity and innovation to your work.

9. Be likable: Women's gift for compassion, empathy, and intuition also makes them more likable. Catherine’s advice: Likability is a key asset the workplace. Smile and be positive--as opposed to being serious and stern--and you will win everyone over and be more influential in your job.

Are You An Introvert or Extravert?

2009-07-21T05:09:00.006+01:00

Hey ladies!

I took a quick quiz of personality today and I think it is 90% accurate for me- I am always interested in personality tests... Take a look if you are interested!

Best of love,
Fran

Hello from my side of the world!

2009-07-20T17:27:00.003+01:00

Hello ladies!!

I am so happy to be the newest contributor to Ladies, Say What You Say! I was completely thrilled when Fran asked me to join, and I am really looking forward to this whole experience. I can't wait to "meet" all of you and share all of our thoughts and ideas on life. :)

Some of you may read my blog from time-to-time, but for those of you haven't, I thought I'd give a little background about myself. I graduated from university last year in San Francisco and instead of feeling ecstatic about starting a career or settling down, I found myself feeling completely lost and unsure of things. So, looking for something completely new, I recently moved abroad to the UK in April and left everything (and nearly everyone!) behind. The experience has been terrifying at times, but also completely liberating. I am so grateful for it! At the moment I am currently deciding between two possible scenarios: beginning my MA in Journalism this September here in London, or running full-force into full-time employment. We will see what happens. My blog is completely random and full of my thoughts, ups-and-downs, stories, likes, dislikes, and every other random thing you could imagine...I hope to share some of my similar thoughts on here as well.

Thank you again Fran!! :)

-Lisa

Welcome Member No.6: Lisa!! :o)

2009-07-19T23:22:00.009+01:00

Yay!! We have got our 6th team member!! A BIG WARM WELCOME to Lisa!!!

Lisa is the first writer featured in our "Featuring You" series. Her blog is one of my favourites, and I think it is a favourite of many of my blogger friends. Lisa is a very talented blogger. Her writings are always interesting and easy to read. I got to know our contributor Val through her site (http://thelifeoflisa.wordpress.com). Well I want to say it is really amazing that people got connected and know each other by blogging, even though they have never met in real life. Also, Lisa is a great supporter of this group blog and the blog of my own. I really appreciate it Lisa. Thank you!

Anyway, I wonder if Lisa would like to start with a brief introduction of herself? I am really looking forward to her posts!

Oh, Lisa has just launched her website with her own domain: http://www.the-life-of-lisa.com, It is really COOL!!

Again WELCOME Lisa!!

Best of love,
Fran

Welcome Ana Our New Team Member!

2009-07-18T03:23:00.003+01:00

Hi everyone!

I think it is great to see more people join us and share what they think. And a few days ago, I invited Ana (from far away) to join us in our group blog! Ana is also a 20 something blogger, very dedicated to positive writings. I have been reading her blog for some time and I enjoyed it very much. Actually I can even meet some of other team members on the comment board of Ana's blog and that happens quite often! Also Ana is one of our "Featuring You" bloggers, with her great post about comparisons of life.

Welcome Ana from far away!

Feel free to write Ana! No strings attached. You can write about anything you want, at any time, in any way! Your older posts are totally acceptable!

What Is Your Favourite Colour?

2009-07-18T01:26:00.010+01:00

Photo Credit: aubergene

Quickly select and click your favourite colour to read a personal evaluation of your personality based on the color you chose! :o)

RED

ORANGE

YELLOW

GREEN

BLUE

PURPLE
PINK

WHITE

BLACK

Oh my favourite colour is PINK. :o)

Colour Test- Black

2009-07-18T01:20:00.005+01:00

BLACK

Attributes: Negativity or the removal of negativity. Outer space, the universe, night. Fertility, wisdom, sadness, mourning, loss, death, discord, confusion, fear and evil. Black is the absence of colors, absorbing all the light of the spectrum.

Characteristics: Black personalities are methodical statisticians who want every thing done in detail. The make fine accountants and tax IRS auditors and collection agents. They always finish what they begin. Although not leaders, under direction, they are hard-working fixers who zero in on the essence of any problem. They tenaciously love to find the mistakes and faults of others like detectives or puzzle fans.

People who like black hold things inside and do not want to be touched. They put a barrier between themselves and others, keeping their strength inside so that they can better protect their emotions. They want no one to take advantage of their sensitivity despite their wish to be part of the world around them.

For many, black is a 'comfort' color, making them feel at ease and when necessary, allows them to hide from world. The 'evil' aspects of black are largely and historically religious in nature in our western culture. Other people use black for celebration and marriage attire. The irony is that we wear black to funerals but also to the most elevated of formal affairs.

Colour Test- White

2009-07-18T01:19:00.002+01:00

WHITE

Attributes: Protection, purification, freshness, cold, and potential. Spiritual strength, faith, truth and sincerity. White reflects all light rays and is therefore cooling and restful. It is the sum of all colors.

Characteristics: White is the color of purity, of new snow or heavenly light. Despite outward appearances, those who favor white may have flaws not apparent to others. They observe others and camoflage themselves in their environment, seeing themselves as special and above it all. Sometimes these people show a false sense of shyness, waiting to be noticed so that they may express their very outspoken thoughts.

Regardless of their behavior, white people express a virginal attitude and are known for this by others. They examine others critically while not making them feel judged. Once approved, they tend to be happy at their appraisal. White personalities are reluctant to discuss their beliefs with others despite firmly holding to their beliefs. They are confident and assured in their self-awareness which is not to say they are not pleased when another acknowledges their beliefs as truth. Self-importance then, is integral to their personality and can be both a positive attribute or negative depending on the individual.

Colour Test- Pink

2009-07-18T01:18:00.002+01:00

PINK

Attributes: Peace, love, friendship, compassion, relaxation. Gentle emotions and unions. Overcoming evil, honor, morality, friendship and success.

Characteristics: People who love the color pink either seek or already enjoy a peaceful state of grace or bliss. They smile constantly which can sometimes irk others who are not in the same space. These people try to see and bring out the best in others, truly loving everyone. If they don't believe someone is essentially good, then you can be sure there is a valid reason they would conclude this.

Pink people are very intelligent and contemplative. They study, analyze the best way to go about something before they take action. They may appear slow as a result, but are merely methodical in their thoughts and hard working.. Sometimes overly optimistic, these people tend to look younger than their years. They view the world in such a positive light it can be dazzling. Shy, they would like to be more active but fear precipitous action, choosing not to make mistakes because they do not wish to be judged unfairly by others. Humor is a tool pink people use to make others happy although they may not be rautious or ribald, instead possessing a dry wit.

Colour Test- Purple

2009-07-18T01:16:00.002+01:00

PURPLE

Spectrum: 7th and last color of the spectrum
Planet: JupiterElement: Fire
Gemstone: Sapphire Metal: Tin
Musical Note: B - sacred music, hymns

Attributes: Nobility, spiritual aspiration, honor and self-esteem. Magnetic, tense, powerful, healing, spiritual, meditative, religious, royal and divine. Medically, it cools the nerves and is antiseptic.

Characteristics: Purple personalities strive to better themselves spiritually, mentally and emotionally. They are voracious readers, constantly seeking knowledge, particularly in tales of the lives of others. Wanting a greater spiritual connection, they love the subjects of theology and religion. Thus armed, they love to spread their findings to others to help them on their spiritual paths.

Being perfectionists, they are prone to self-sabotage by being overly critical of themselves. In an extreme form, those who like the muted shades of purple can become religious zealots who feel the God given right to judge others and mete out retribution. The search for spirit is lost in their fanaticism.

Those who favor darker purple work to find inner peace and love and a connection to God or their higher power. As givers, they are fine friends as they don't seem to ask much for themselves. If they do seek help from another and are not clear in their desire, they may resent the fact that their request is not forthcoming. They can develop a hard-done-by attitude in this case. Over-functioner resenting under-functioner.

Colour Test- Blue

2009-07-18T01:15:00.002+01:00

BLUE

Spectrum: 5th color of the seven spectrum colors
Planet: Venus
Element: Water
Gemstone: Amethyst
Musical Note: G - romantic music

Attributes: Love, devotion and harmony. Healing, peace, psychic ability, patience, happiness. Symbolic of the ocean, sleep, twilight, and the sky.

Characteristics: Blue people are emotional and stay within themselves. They tend to not trust others as they carefully watch them. Pale blue is the color of devotion and reflects one who prefers things to be in order. As blue becomes darker, it becomes moody and depressed, hence the term, 'the blues'.

Lovers of royal blue can be on either a large high or in a deep pit of emotion. Navy blue is favored by those who are very emotional but wish to conceal it. They tend to indulge themselves in their emotions and can, in extreme cases, become obsessed. Being feelers, they cry when they are happy or sad and as a result leave themselves wide open to others. They can easily guage the mood of any person they are around regardless of their state of mind.

Blue personalities can't explain the range of their emotions, as they are products of their environment. Looking for sympathy in others, blue people can be miserable to be with when they expect you to be down with them. Codependently, they need you to feel as they do. Too much blue around will create depression so it needs other colors to balance it.

Colour Test- Green

2009-07-18T01:13:00.002+01:00

GREEN

Spectrum: 4th color of the seven spectrum colors
Planet: Saturn
Element: Earth
Gemstone: Emerald
Metal: Lead
Musical Note: F - minor key, melancholy music

Attributes: Stability, harmony, pacifity, luminousity, quietude and peace of mind. Money, luck, success, prosperity, abundance, employment, fertility, healing, growth and cooperation.

Characteristics: Green personalities are nurturers. They wish to help, heal, or mother others. As such, these people can be found in the medical profession or social work. Others view them as good listeners and trustworthy as they keep their thoughts to themselves. As natural observers, they make excellent guidance counselors, human resource people, psychologists and psychiatrists. They can see all sides to issues and respect all positions.

Green personalities treat others as they wish to be treated and can put others at ease with no effort. Loving harmony makes them born peacemakers. Their homes reflect this by being comfortable and warm for visitors. If one likes dark green the person may be envious or overly concerned with the lives of others. In some cases they have to help others to feel good about themselves, which in its extreme form is codependent. As sometimes over-functioners, they must avoid the tendency to become martyrs.

All in all, green personalities make excellent friends because they are happy, caring and trustworthy. Needless to say, they are natural gardeners and pet lovers.

Colour Test- Yello

2009-07-18T01:12:00.001+01:00

YELLOW

Spectrum: 3rd color of the seven spectrum colors
Planet: Mercury
Element: Air
Gemstone: Topaz
Musical Note: E - lowest of the seven notes martial music

Attributes: Intellectual, wise, quick witted, confident, divinity, communicative, eloquent, full of movement, luminous, thoughful and royal. Attractive, persuasive, trustworthy and charming. Yellow is the main color in all herbs which are purgatives or nerve-stimulants, such as senna , sulfur, fig juice, tartar, castor oil.

Characteristics: Yellow is the color of the Buddha and His followers. Yellow people make good leaders as they are methodical in their thinking and decisive. They analyze before acting.

People with yellow personalities are very business minded and like to be thought of as educated. They use their minds to achieve their goals and as a result, love games and are particularly good at chess. Yellow people can be stubborn and if they favor mustard yellow, they can be pompous and cause suspicion. The darkest characteristic of yellow is deceit and cowardice.

Yellow personalities consider all points of view prior to making decisions. They can bury their emotions when they are feeling stressed out, believing it to be a sign of weakness and refuse to allow others to see them this way. They are insular, keeping their circle of intimate friends very small and limited to those who are also business types. Even having friends, yellow people depend only on themselves. Both males and females are considered clothes horses, liking to look good at all times.

Colour Test- Red

2009-07-18T01:11:00.005+01:00

RED

Spectrum: 1st color - the lowest of the seven spectrum colors
Planet: Mars - God of War
Element: Fire
Gemstone: Ruby
Metal: Iron
Musical Note: C - the lowest note on the scale - martial music

Attributes: Strength, force, power, control and leadership. Stimulation, warmth, excitement. Good health, physical energy, love, sex, passion, courage, protection. Birth, life and death, birth and volcanic eruptions. Red is the chief color in any herbs or medicines having a heating and stimulating effect, such as cayenne, cloves or musk.

Characteristics: A person who likes red can express many personality traits. The positive ones being passion, energy, and money making. The darker manifestations of those who favor reddish-brown colors can be addictions such as drugs, alcohol, eating disorders or emotional instability. Red-oranges are dynamic people persons who love the outdoors.

High emotions are characteristic of those who like red with blue overtones. They can be energetic people to be with. Red personalities are seductive. Men are attracted to a woman wearing red regardless of how good looking she may be. Business people who wish to stand out wear red to meetings, expressing their desire for power and control. They crave the attention.

The red personality makes others feel more energetic and vital. This personality may have a volatile temperment but cools off just as quickly. A bit of a know-it-all, the red person is quick to give others answers to any question. What they don't know, they will find out, as they are terrified of appearing stupid. They want everything done in a hurry. They are expert power nappers when they run out of energy and then bounce back as before.

Red personalities feel all powerful and convince others that they are but they do not make good leaders. Under proper direction, they do make good followers and have no problems doing whatever needs doing to finish a job. A bit scattered, red personalities can go off on tangents, their attention span being limited. Quick minded, bright people, when focused, they can be very determined.

Colour Test- Orange

2009-07-18T01:11:00.003+01:00

ORANGE

Spectrum: 2nd color of the seven spectrum colors
Planet: Sun
Gemstone: Amber
Metal: Gold
Musical Note: D - emotional music

Attributes: The color of nature, warm, invigorating, confident and courageous. Encouragement, helpfulness, concentration, attraction, adaptability, stimulation.

Characteristics: As nature lovers, orange people love being outdoors, whether walking in the forest or participating in sports. Nature invigorates them and being housebound depresses them. They feel an affinity for both flora and fauna, recognizing that all people are also part of nature. Well thought of by others, orange personalities make good friends and excel at careers such as farming or ranching, wilderness guides or professional sports.

They may sometimes make others mad but it is short-lived, it usually doesn't last very long. Most are the nicest people but it's not smart to put them in a corner as they will bite. They are generally considered good lovers with a decidedly kinky side, in that they are completely open to try anything to please a partner. Egalitarian, they like to support the underdog and are very much good Samaritans. They do talk a lot, project their voices loudly and are not afraid to express opinions on anything. Learning from past mistakes, orange people are thoughtful and very aware of their actions and surroundings.Orange personalities are completely secure in knowing that what they wish for in life is theirs for the taking and that they deserve the best.

Some More Quotes :o)

2009-07-17T07:49:00.015+01:00

Hello all you guys!

Thank you Deva for the great and very true quotes! I will keep going with quotes: something old and something new for today. :o)

Best of love,
Fran

Life's Inspiration

2009-07-16T21:39:00.000+01:00

With Love. Deva.

What Are Your Favourite TV Series?

2009-07-16T13:33:00.011+01:00

TV has been considered to be a fast-food-like media for information and entertainment: everything it brings to you are instant and does not contain much food for thoughts.

Yes, and No. Just like newspapers, TV shows can also be misleading. You are probably just watching what people behind the scene want you to see, and think the way they want you to think since you cannot see the whole picture and you were not there when things happened... You are a passive receiver. It is sad. But, there are good TV programmes there. I watched TV, I got moved and motivated by what I have watched...

I think of a topic suggested by Val, a contributor of this group blog, "What the Impact of Your Favourite TV series on Your Life?". I have been thinking, and I finally have some time to comb my thoughts and write them down.

I want to name my favourite TV programmes. They are all unforgettable to me and all influenced my life in some way.

1. Growing Pains. My favourite when I was still a little girl. Jason the father, Maggie the mother, Mike the brother, Carol the sister, and Ben the little pumpkin head. I did not remember much since they had new family members. They already made a perfect family. Time changes, people age, but love may last longer than our lives, and it is exactly what makes a family.
2. Friends. Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Ross. Friendship is rare, that is why people cherish it so much. We want friendship not because it brings us glory, not because it brings us money, but because it brings us trust and loyalty and the great feeling of sharing.
3. Sex and The City. Well I will not comment more... It tells a lot of truth about women!
4. Band of Brothers (the Chinese version). This TV show is not about women at all. In this 30-episode-TV-series, the only female character was there for no more than 5 seconds. I am very much impressed by the tagline, "Do not stop, never give up." Do not stop chasing your dreams, and never give up your friends.
What are your favourite TV series? Why?

Best of love,
Fran

What Your Handwriting Tells About You?

2009-07-16T01:51:00.005+01:00

Hello everyone!

I was away for a couple of days for my student visa. I went to Beijing/ Peking. It was fun travelling in the super scorching time of the year, and of course during the peak of the travelling season as well. I intended to say something before I left but unfortunately my browser was sick so I was unable to do so. I would like to thank Deva for taking care of the blog when I was away! I enjoyed reading all your posts Deva!! Thank you.

In Chinese there is a saying which goes like "Your handwriting tells who you are." Today I would like to post something about Graphology, the analysis of handwriting. Check it out, have fun, and hopefully get to know yourself better! ;o)

Click HERE to start. :o)

Best of love,
Fran

Bunnies

2009-07-15T21:48:00.002+01:00

Just for fun and I know it's not Easter!

Best of love. Deva.

I was NOT born to be...

2009-07-15T09:05:00.000+01:00

Best of love. Deva.

You Are What You Think About All Day Long

2009-07-14T05:18:00.008+01:00

I was thinking about writing this post for a while... and when I read Valérie's post, I thought that now it's my turn to give you something about self growth. Personally I love this book, I come back to it every time when I have some serious goals to achieve, when I feel down or when I need a motivation which I cannot find anywhere else. I take a long bath, sometimes even with a glass of wine and I start to read. I know that maybe it's not such a good idea to read this book with a glass of wine but at the beginning of putting myself /or more my head/ back on my feet I need some time for a slow relaxation. I have a better ability to imagine everything what is written in this book though. That's why I like to start a process of self renewing with a nice bath and glass of good wine /can be tea as well/. Then it's THE time for having a conversation with myself.

The book "The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind" written by Joseph Murphy says that everything what you want to achieve in your life whether it involves your personal or professional life is starting with thinking about your goal. You need to talk to your subconscious mind, share your thought with and focus on it very intensively. It's the only way you will achieve what you want. Before you fall asleep, when you wake up, when you work, study or eat you need to have this thought all the time in your head.

"You are what you think about all day long" and then you BECOME what you think about all day long. This is one of my favorite quotes from this book. If you think you can't succeed, you won't. If you think you can't make it, you won't. If you think you are not good enough, you are. As long as you create your own image and your own life by perspectives that you can choose and opportunities that you can take - you are the winner!

I have my goals to achieve this year, and the years which will come soon. And I'm sure I will get everything what I want. If I won't it means that Life has something better for me to offer.

I cannot wait to the end of the year... I know I need to be patient: piece by piece, step by step and I will see... now I will just enjoy my life...

Best of Love. Deva.

White Chocolate Latte!

2009-07-13T15:20:00.000+01:00

This is for you all my coffee fanatics and lovers! In a day like that when the weather is so beautiful that you could ran outside all day long you need something to drink. What could be better than a nice, sweet-smelling, tasty White Chocolate Latte! Well being honest - nothing! So enjoy your day wherever you are and if you have a little of willpower, make yourself a gift and celebrate your spare time with a nice latte.

Here you have an easy to make recipe, hope y'all will enjoy.

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 cups milk
1 tablespoon heavy cream
1/8 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon white sugar
1/2 cup brewed espresso
1/4 cup white chocolate chips, chopped

DIRECTIONS

Combine the milk and cream in a saucepan, and whisk over high heat until hot and frothy. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla and sugar. Whisk together hot espresso and white chocolate chips in a mug until smooth. If you are making two, pour half into another mug. Top with the frothy hot milk and stir to blend in the flavoring.

Please feel free to make your own special recipe. It will be even better if you share with me.

Hmm smells so good... Je l'adore...

Best of Love.Deva.

I've Learned

2009-07-11T07:37:00.004+01:00

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone that can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.

I've learned that you can do some thing in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that money is a lousy way to keep score.

I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've learned that no matter good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

Author: Unknown

Best of love,
Fran

BOOK REVIEW - Happiness

2009-07-10T19:43:00.004+01:00

I just read Fran’s article on joy and it made me think to this book I read a few weeks ago.

The title is “Zen and the art of happiness” and it’s written by Chris Prentiss. I know I already talked about him but whatever. He has been my key author in the last 3 weeks. This book in particular cannot be ignored. Chris reminds me (such as Fran did) that happiness comes from within and that there’s no secret tricks or stuff to possess that will make you happy. I mean an event can make you feel happy of course but it’s actually only a cover. If events or random stuffs were really the true source of happiness, everybody would feel the same way about it. And you know as I do that it’s not the case. So where does happiness come from? It comes from your way to look to those events and stuffs we were talking about. You only need to allow yourself to feel this way. Prentiss says that “it’s a state that is produced by our minds”. In fact, some studies have shown that when you have negative thoughts, your body’s immune system is affected and push you to depression. So just try to push all those negative stuff away and force yourself to think positively and to add some fun to your life. The rest will follow. Try to maintain this state of mind and you’ll be happy, confident, positive and all you want to be.

And to finish, I’d like to add this quote: “Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think” (Dale Carnegie). You may possess all the wealth in this world, it’s not what will make you happy. HAPPINESS COMES FROM WITHIN(lesson of the day you should never forget).

Have a great weekend y’all!

Addiction

2009-07-10T18:01:00.003+01:00

Just because I'm addicted to music and this song is amazingly sexy.

Have a great Friday!
Best of love. Deva!

Let Joy

2009-07-10T10:45:00.005+01:00

Let Joy Overtake You

Photo Credit: Margaret Warfield

Photo Link

Let Joy

By Ralph S. Marston, Jr.

Somewhere in this very moment there is joy.
Choose to let it touch you.
You do not have to arrange for joy to appear, or coax it out of life.
All you have to do is allow it, and jo will be.
Joy does not need a special circumstance or elaborate condition.
It only needs for you to let it arise.
In the tiny, unremarkable moments, joy is always read and waiting.
In the magnificent , dramatic times it is there as well.
Joy will be if you will let it.
Think back, and you'll see how often you've know this to be true.
Relax your defenses, openand expose your most authentic self to life.
Joy will surely reach and fill you.

Trivia: Reading Test

2009-07-09T16:38:00.015+01:00

Photo Link

"...the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."

Sometimes we need to stop focusing on all the trivial details. Step back a little bit, so that we can see the whole picture.

I have done such test a few times, with different articles. But for each time before I started, I did not know that everything just "looked right" but in fact not. I presumed things were all right. Amazingly, for each "first" time I did it, I completed the article very fast and I totally got the meaning. But, when I knew what the test was about and read the passage again, I was way slower and sort of stuck with all those single words and letters. :o)

The phenomenal power of the human mind. To me, the power all lies in self-suggestion. Sometimes things can be easy when we think they are easy, while they are hard to handle when we think they are missions impossible. In Chinese we have similar saying which goes like "He who did not survive was scared to death, by the scary images in his own mind." Do not go to the extreme and be over-optimistic, just go for some positive self-suggestions, tell yourself that YOU CAN.

Best,
Fran

Ladies, Say Hello & Say Goodbye: It Is An Assignment!

2009-07-08T08:42:00.016+01:00

Hey ladies!

Life is an adventure. We encounter and embrace new things and we wave and say farewell to the old ones. "Hello" and "Goodbye" are probably two most frequently used words in our everyday life. We say "Hello" to new friends, to our brand-new dresses, to our dreamed jobs, to a great plan, to an original idea. Why? Because we lOVE them! But life is not always about good things to be happy about. Like it or not, we also have to say "Goodbye". Sometimes it is really hard to say the word because it can be hurtful and it just feels much easier to keep holding on. But in some cases, it is wise and usually a good idea to let go. It is a daring thing to do, isn't it? Sometimes it feels like telling everybody else you are leaving and you leave without looking back and actually you have no idea what is going to happen next and there is nothing you can do but keep moving on. Perhaps the goodbye is not forever, but you will never know until you say it and really mean it. Saying goodbye to one thing probably means saying hello to the other. It allows room for new things, for transformation, for exploration, and for better understanding of yourself. In some cases, goodbye is really the end, but a good one!

That is why I write this post. Hopefully it inspires you in some way. I intend to make it an "assignment". In this assignment, I would like to know your "Hellos" and "Goodbyes". Say hello to all the exciting challenges you want to face, and say goodbye to all the things you need to let go: bad habits, the passing of your loved ones, ex-boyfriends, or girlfriends, self-destructive feelings and behaviours, jobs, projects, or thoughts, anything.

But please write them as simple lists. Each can be a list of only one item, or a list of 1001 things. It is all up to you! By the way, for the Goodbye List, please take a moment with each one to really say goodbye. This isn't a catalogue of your fears and faults, this is a ceremony to bid them farewell.

I will show you mine first.

My Hello List:
- Hello my new haircut! Thanks to my new hairdresser. I know I still look stupid now, but less stupid than last time. And no matter what, my hair is growing anyway! (This one is for who I AM.)
- Hello Canada! I almost see you smile and wave at me. Almost! (This one, for my FUTURE.)
- Hello all my team members and all my readers! Starting this group blog is probably the best thing I have ever done! I do not want to say "Thank You!" any more. My gratitude is beyond words. (This one, the last but the most important one, is for YOU!!!)

And My Goodbye List:
- Goodbye my ex! You are so... such an a**hole but thanks for letting me know what and who are the most important to me. (This one is for the PAST.)
- Goodbye my bills! Thank God I finally paid you all for this month! (This one is for the PRESENT...)
- Goodbye biting fingers... I guess I have been doing really well for the past few months, and I do hope I will not get into it again! (This one is for the FUTURE.)

Ooookay ladies... I can only think of such shallow things about my "Hellos" and "Goodbyes", and I would love to hear yours! There will be a follow-up post with all your feedbacks and my thoughts by August 8, 2009!

It is just an experimental project of me, let me know what you think about this "assignment" thing. Or perhaps you have your suggested assignments for us all. For all your lists and suggestions, please comment, e-mail me at fran9719@gmail.com, or write something in your blog and let me know! I will not use any of your thoughts for anything else. It is a PROMISE.

Best of love,
Fran

Enjoy Your Life: A Marathon A~Z List :o)

2009-07-07T18:37:00.008+01:00

Photo Link

Hey ladies!

Today I am going to post a veeeeeeeeeeery loooooooooooong A~Z list. We need to remind ourselves from time to time, we need to LIVE.

Enjoy reading! Have a great day!

Best of luck and love,
Fran

Act now. For now is all you have.
Action is the food and drink which will nourish my success.
Action will destroy your procrastination.
All men must stumble often to reach the truth.
All nature is a circle of moods and you are a part of nature and so, like
the tides, your moods will rise; your moods will fall.
All your problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise.
Always let your reach exceed your grasp.
Always raise your goals as soon as they are attained.
Always strive to make the next hour better than this one.
Always take another step. If that is to no avail take another, and yet another. One step at a time is not too difficult.
Any act with practice becomes easy.
Apply all of your efforts to become the highest mountain of all and strain your potential until it cries for mercy.
Avoid with fury the killers of time.
Bad habits must be destroyed and new furrows prepared for good seed.
Bathe me in good habits that the bad ones may drown.
Be happy.
Be hungry for success.
Be prepared to control whatever personality awakes in you each day.
Become master of yourself.
Begin now to accent your differences.
Beginning today, you can increase your accomplishments of yesterday by a hundredfold.
Bury doubt under faith.
Cherish each hour of this day for it can never return.
Chuckle and your burdens will be lightened.
Concentrate your energy on the challenge of the moment.
Confidence will take away your fear.
Consider each obstacle as a mere detour to your goal and a challenge to your profession.
Consider each obstacle as a mere detour to your goal.
Count your blessings today.
Cultivate the habit of laughter.
Destroy procrastination with action.
Dismember fear with confidence.
Do not allow yesterday's success to lull you into today's complacency, for this is the great foundation of failure.
Do not be satisfied with yesterday's accomplishments or indulge in self-praise for deeds which are too small to even acknowledge.
Do not commit the terrible crime of aiming too low.
Do not dwell on the past.
Do not judge a man on one meeting.
Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
Do not make vain attempts to imitate others.
Do not permit the petty happenings of today to disturb you.
Do not think of yesterday or tomorrow.
Do not waste a moment mourning yesterday's misfortunes, yesterday's defeats, or yesterday's aches of the heart.
Drink every minute to its fill; savor its taste and give thanks.
Drive a bad habit from your life and replace it with one which will bring you closer to success.
Each day will be triumphant only when your smiles bring forth smiles from others.
Each failure to sell will increase your chances for success at your next attempt.
Each frown you meet only prepares you for the smile to come.
Each minute of today will be more fruitful than the hours of yesterday.
Your last must be your best.
Each misfortune you encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck.
Each nay I hear will bring me closer to the sound of yea.
Each rebuff is an opportunity to move forward; turn away from them, avoid them and you throw away your future.
Each struggle, each defeat sharpens your skills and strengthens your courage and your endurance.
Enjoy today's happiness today.
Failure does not course through your veins as you were not delivered into this world in defeat.
Failure no longer will be my payment for struggle.
Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong enough.
For now you know one of the greatest principles of success; if you persist long enough you will win.
Forget the happenings of the day that is gone, whether they were good or bad, and greet the new sun with confidence that this will be the best day of your life.
Fulfill today's duties today.
Good habits are the key to all success.
Grant me compassion for weaknesses in others.
Grasp each minute of this day with both hands and fondle it with love for its value is beyond price.
Green grass grows where dry desert ends.
Greet the sunrise with cries of joy.
Happiness is the wine that sharpens the taste of the meal.
Have confidence that this will be the best day of your life.
I can accomplish far more than I have, and I will, for why would the miracle which produced me end with my birth? Why can I not extend that miracle to my deeds of today?
I consider poverty to be the mark of a lack of ability or a lack of ambition.
I have a choice and I will not let my life be fed to swine nor will I let it be ground under the rocks of failure and despair to be broken open and devoured by the will of others.
I have not time to hate, only time to love.
I need not wait for I have the power to choose my own destiny.
I shall live this day as if it is my last. And if it is not, I shall fall to my knees and give thanks.
I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.
I will be successful.
I will command, and I will obey mine own command.
I will do the work that a failure will not do.
I will encourage my friends and they will become brothers.
I will endure sadness for it opens my soul.
I will form good habits and become their slave.
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
I will greet this day with love, and I will succeed.
I will laud mine enemies and they will become friends.
I will laugh at evil and it will die untasted.
I will look on all things with love, and I will be born again.
I will love all mankind.
I will love all manners of men for each has qualities to be admired even though they may be hidden.
I will love myself.
I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me!
I will love the beautiful for their eyes of sadness; I will love the ugly for their souls of peace.
I will love the failures for they can teach me.
I will love the kings for they are but human; I will love the meek for they are divine.
I will love the rich for they are yet lonely; I will love the poor for they are so many.
I will love the young for the faith they hold; I will love the old for the wisdom they share.
I will persist until I succeed.
I will persist and I will win.
I will say it is done before the failure says it is too late.
I will talk when the failure remains silent.
I will think naught of my profession when I am in my home for this will dampen my love.
I will toil and I will endure.
I will walk where the failure fears to walk.
I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart.
I will work when the failure seeks rest.
If all things shall pass, why should I be of concern for today?
If I delay, success will become betrothed to another and lost to me forever.
If I have no other qualities I can succeed with love alone.
If I persist, if I continue to try, if I continue to charge forward, I will succeed.
If I stumble I will rise, and my falls will not concern me.
If you bring joy, enthusiasm, brightness, and laughter to your customers, they will react with joy, enthusiasm, brightness, and laughter and your weather will produce a harvest of sales and a granary of gold for you.
If you feel depressed - sing!
If you feel fear, plunge ahead.
If you feel incompetent, remember past successes.
If you feel insignificant, remember your goals.
If you feel poverty, think of wealth to come.
If you feel sad - laugh.
If you must be a slave to habit, then be a slave to good habits.
If you persist long enough, you will win.
If you waste today, you destroy the last page of your life.
Ignore the obstacles at your feet and keep your eyes on the goals above your head.
In setting my goals, I will consider my best performance of the past and multiply it a hundredfold.
Increase your knowledge of mankind.
It pays to be persistent.
Just as love is my weapon to open the hearts of men, love is also my shield to repulse the arrows of hate and the spears of anger.
Just as nature made no provision for your body to tolerate pain neither has it made any provision for your life to suffer failure.
Keep work and family separate.
Laugh and your life will be lengthened for this is the great secret of long life.
Laugh at goodness and it will thrive and abound.
Laugh at the world.
Laugh at your failures and they will vanish in clouds of new dreams.
Laugh at your successes and they will shrink to their true value.
Laugh at yourself for man is most comical when he takes himself too seriously.
Leave your problems at home.
Lift up a friend in need.
Lift your arms with thanks for this priceless gift of a new day.
Live this day as if it is your last. Seal up the container of life so that not one drop spills itself upon the sand.
Live this day as if it is your last.
Live today as if it is your last chance to prove your love and your greatness.
Look upon each obstacle as a lesson to be learned.
Look upon misfortune as opportunity in disguise.
Love the darkness because it shows you the stars.
Love will melt all hearts like the sun whose rays soften the coldest clay.
Love yourself!
Make every hour count and trade each minute only for something of value.
Make love your greatest weapon.
Make the hours ahead priceless!
Make this day the best day of your life.
Many face each obstacle in their path with fear and doubt and consider them as enemies, when in truth, these obstructions are friends and helpers.
Many succumb to despair and fail without realizing that they already possess all the tools needed to acquire great wealth.
Master your emotions so that each day will be productive.
Master your moods through positive action and when you master your moods you will control your destiny.
Meditation and prayer feeds the soul.
My desire to meet the world will overcome every fear I once knew, and I will be happier than I ever believed it possible to be in this world of strife and sorrow.
Nature knows not defeat.
Never allow yourself to become so important, so wise, so dignified, so powerful, that you forget how to laugh at yourself.
Never be satisfied with yesterday's accomplishments.
Never feel shame for trying and failing for he who has never failed is he who has never tried.
Never will I allow my heart to become small and bitter, rather I will share it and it will grow and warm the earth.
Never will I allow my mind to be attracted to evil and despair, rather I will uplift it with the knowledge and wisdom of the ages.
Never will I allow my soul to become complacent and satisfied, rather I will feed it with meditation and prayer.
Never will I labor to be happy; rather will I remain too busy to be sad.
Never will I overindulge the requests of my flesh, rather I will cherish my body with cleanliness and moderation.
Never will I scratch for excuses to gossip.
No longer shall my vocabulary include such words as cannot, unable, impossible, and quit.
No longer will I fail to call again tomorrow on he who meets me with hate today.
Obstacles are necessary for success.
Only a habit can subdue another habit.
Only action determines my value in the market place.
Only with laughter and happiness can I enjoy the fruits of my labor.
Only with laughter and happiness can you truly become a success.
People will always respond positively to joy and enthusiasm.
Persist and develop your skills as the mariner develops his, by learning to ride out the wrath of each storm.
Persist with the knowledge that each failure to sell will increase your chance for success at the next attempt.
Practice the art of patience for nature never acts in haste.
Put your uniqueness on display in the market place.
Rain cleanses the spirit.
Remember that as today's dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow's bloom so does today's sadness carry the seed of tomorrow's joy.
Remove from your vocabulary such words and phrases as quit, cannot, unable, impossible, out of the question, improbable, failure, unworkable, hopeless,
and retreat; for they are the words of fools.
Rewards are great if one succeeds but the rewards are great only because so few succeed.
Seek constantly to improve your manners and graces, for they are the sugar to which all are attracted.
Set goals for the day, the week, the month, the year, and your life.
Should you concern yourself over events which you may never witness? Should you torment yourself with problems that may never come to pass? No!
Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday, think of it no more.
Sleep in peace for you have not failed.
Small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.
Smile and your digestion will improve.
So long as I can laugh, never will I be poor.
So long as there is breath in me, that long will I persist.
Strive for happiness and peace of mind.
Strive for happiness, to be loved and to love, and most important, to acquire peace of mind and serenity.
Strive to become better than you are.
Strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.
Success comes to those willing to work a little bit harder than the rest.
Success will not wait.
Suffer me to know that all things shall pass.
The height of my goals will not hold me in awe though I may stumble often before they are reached.
The only difference between those who have failed and those who have succeeded lies in their habits.
The prizes of life are at the end of each journey, not near the beginning; and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goal.
The problems of the market place will be left in the market place.
The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.
There are good qualities in everyone.
There are lessons to be learned from failures.
There is no room in the market place for your family, nor is there room in your home for the market.
There is not time to hate, only time to love.
This day is all you have and these hours are now your eternity. Greet this sunrise with cries of joy as a prisoner who is reprieved from death.
This is the place.
This is the time.
This too shall pass.
Time teaches all things to him who lives forever, but I have not the luxury of eternity.
To conquer fear I must always act without hesitation and the flutters in my heart will vanish.
To enjoy success I must have happiness, and laughter will be the maiden who serves me.
To multiply your value you must multiply your actions.
To surpass the deeds of others is unimportant; to surpass your own deeds is all.
Today I begin a new life.
Today I shed my old skin which hath too long suffered the bruises of failure and the wounds of mediocrity.
Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold.
Today I will surpass every action which I performed yesterday.
Today you will be master of your emotions.
Today, I will act.
Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy.
Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday.
True wealth is of the heart, not of the purse.
Try again, make one more attempt to close with victory, and if that fails, make another.
Try, and try, and try again.
Understand and recognize the moods of others. Make allowances for their anger and irritation for they know not the secret of controlling their minds.
Unless you act you will perish in a life of failure, misery, and sleepless nights.
Unless you put your skills, mind, heart, and body to good use, you will stagnate, rot, and die.
Victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats.
We must have the night to appreciate the day.
Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.
Welcome happiness for it enlarges your heart; endure sadness for it opens your soul.
What can take place before this sun sets which will not seem insignificant in the river of centuries?
What is success other than a state of mind?
When an act becomes easy through constant repetition, it becomes a pleasure to perform, and if it is a pleasure to perform, it is man's nature to
perform it often.
When I am burdened with wealth I shall tell myself that this too shall pass.
When I am moved to praise, I will shout from the roofs.
When I am puffed with success I shall warn myself that this too shall pass.
When I am strangled in poverty I shall tell myself that this too shall pass.
When I am tempted to criticize, I will bite on my tongue.
When others cease their struggle, then mine will begin, and my harvest will be full.
When you are heavy with heartache console yourself that this too shall pass.
Where dry desert ends, green grass grows.
Where there are idle mouths I will listen not; where there are idle hands I will linger not; where there are idle bodies I will visit not.
Will my concern for this day not seem foolish ten years hence?
With each victory the next struggle becomes less difficult.
With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have built round their hearts, and in its place, I will build bridges so that my love may enter their souls.
Within you burns a flame which has been passed from generations uncounted, and its heat is a constant irritation to your spirit to become better than you are, and you will.
Yesterday's joy will become today's sadness; yet today's sadness will grow into tomorrow's joy.
Yesterday's success will not lull me into today's complacency.
Yesterday is buried forever, think of it no more.
You are a unique creature.
You are here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand.
You are nature's greatest miracle.
You are rare, and there is value in all rarity; therefore, you are valuable.
You can accomplish far more than you have, and you will.
You can overcome seemingly impossible obstacles with ambition.
You have been given eyes to see and a mind to think.
You have but one life and life is naught but a measurement of time.
You have unlimited potential.
You may encounter failure at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind the next bend in the road. You will never know how close success lies
unless you turn the corner.
You must fail often to succeed only once.
You must have objectives before your life will crystallize.
You must nurture your body and mind in order to fulfill your dreams.
You only have time to love.
You were conceived in love and brought forth with a purpose.
You will become great.
You won't know how close success is unless you turn the corner.

TODAY I LEARNED AND RE LEARNED ... THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER EXPECT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE TO FULFIL YOURSELF

2009-07-06T19:53:00.005+01:00

Being disappointed. This is a feeling you probably felt a million times and it happened to me again recently So I started to ask myself what were the true reason of this disappointment and I realized it was like “my ego is touched”… It reminded me what I thought I knew and that I eventually might needed to learn again: you cannot expect a friend, a guy or anybody else to fulfil yourself. You’re supposed to create you inner joy and no one else but you can do it. The answers are all in ourselves and we shouldn’t rely on external factors to have this feeling of being complete.

I was sharing my thoughts with a friend last day and she asked a great question: but then if you shouldn’t rely on anybody else but you when it’s human nature to have expectations, what does it mean? That we shouldn’t trust anybody and close ourselves to every single person who seems to be nice to us and only want our happiness?

The point is that, like in everything in life I guess, you need to find the right balance. You’re not supposed to close yourself to others. Sharing is actually very importance but I think it’s just the part of expectations that you need to reduce. How? I have no idea. Just gaining confidence in yourself maybe. I’m still trying to find the answer to that question.

I just found that quote that I love:

"Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think." Dale Carnegie

I think it fits well with our current subject. Our happiness does not depend on what we have or what people told us but more on what we do with all that, how we think and envision life.

Any thoughts on the subject ?

Bummers and Buddhism

2009-07-06T19:44:00.025+01:00

Hello ladies, I hope you guys had a great weekend. Keep a smile on your face and your week will be good and go fast till Friday!

Today, I decided to feature an article of an awesome young lady. Her name is Jenna and she’s a twenty something from North Carolina. She runs the blog Sharing Time Station where one of her articles in particular really caught my attention. It is entitled “Bummers and Buddhism”: an original title for a great article that will probably resonate with most of you. I apologize for the length of the post but I absolutely wanted to add some comments after!

"I haven't posted in the past couple of days because I'm in a little bit of a rough spot and it's making it difficult to write. I know that one of my favorite things about reading other people's blogs, the really good blogs, is the author's ability to express even their pain and hardship in a way that makes it accessible to everyone, and provides a cathartic experience for both the author and the reader. Unfortunately, whenever I try to write about tough subjects, or share my darker emotions, I don't feel like I'm able to find that rewarding balance between expressing my feelings in an artful way, and just whining like a tween who got lost on her way to myspace. On top of which, this particular situation I'm in is a transitional sort of situation, where I just sit around in limbo, waiting to find out whether things are going to go the way I expected them to, or if my life is going to change in a pretty big way. I have trouble throwing my angst up all over the Internet when it could turn out that everything is fine, and then I'll have to just kind of blush and say, "Oh, uhh... never mind!" On the other hand, it's hard for me to think about much else, so you can see my dilemma: write posts that are boring and depressing and possibly pointless, or write nothing at all.

However, in dealing with all this, I've had some thoughts that might be useful to other people, so I thought I might share those here. One of the aspects of life I have the most difficulty with is the fact that I can't control it. I can't control other people, I can't control whether my car breaks down, I can't even control how many of these nectarines will go bad before I get a chance to eat them. Whenever I'm faced with really important things that are out of my control, I have a tendency to panic. My mind goes into overdrive, trying to come up with some way, any way, that I can make sure things turn out the way I want them to. Usually this starts out simply, and then devolves into a series of increasingly desperate and unhelpful plans of action. I might think, Oh no, what if my parents die young? How can I prevent this? Ok, I'll just calmly suggest to them that they ought to stop smoking and take better care of themselves.... but what if they ignore me? Alright then, I'll just come over and steal all their cigarettes and throw them away.... but they'll probably just buy more. Fine, I'll just have to quit my job and move in with them, so that I can monitor them 24 hours a day. And if that doesn't work, I'll threaten to cut myself if they don't stop smoking.

This process, as you might have guessed, requires a lot of mental energy and is entirely unhelpful. Sometimes, I put an end to it all by just saying to myself, "EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL." But that's lying to myself, really, because there's no way I could have everything under my control, at all times, and the fact that I have to convince myself of that in order to sleep easy is problematic.

I don't think that I'm alone in feeling this way sometimes. But the fact that I am not the Supreme Decider of How Things Will Be, although unfortunate, is something that will never change, so getting worked up about it is like starting a letter-writing campaign to make it so that the Amazon River now flows through my backyard, rather than through 9 countries in South America.

From a Buddhist perspective (based on my very limited reading)*, unhappiness and suffering is caused by attachment to things: other people and places, our hopes and dreams, our own bodies. Attachment would be fine if we could ensure that the things we're attached to always do what we want, but obviously we can't do that. So we get our happiness inextricably wrapped up in things that are inconstant, things that we cannot guarantee will always behave the way we like, or turn out the way we hope. Things we can't control. And so we're repeatedly frustrated, hurt, and disappointed by these things we hold so dear. Buddhist practice incorporates a variety of ways to avoid this; simply avoiding attachment to things is the obvious option. But the thing I've been thinking about lately is equanimity.

*Full disclosure: I'm about to talk about things I learned from a book all about touchy-feely hippie nonsense that was recommended to me by my Mental Health Professional, so if you want to write me off as a new age nut job and go have yourself a chocolate milkshake instead I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.

The idea I have of equanimity is one I got from Sharon Salzberg's book, which I think I've mentioned before. Based on her description, equanimity is an understanding that you cannot control anything outside of yourself, and an acceptance of all the things that happen that are outside of your control. So, you love people, you treat them with generosity and kindness, you hope for good things, you do your best to ensure that good things happen, but always with an awareness of the fact that you're not in control, and bad shit is going to occur from time to time. Or at least, that's my understanding based on my limited reading on the subject.

This way of looking at things is something I've been trying to focus on over the past couple of weeks, while I wait patiently (ok, not always so patiently) to find out whether my immediate future will be what I imagined it to be (not that it makes any sense for me to try to imagine the future in the first place) or if it will be something very different. In an effort to keep myself calm and sane, I have to keep reminding myself that there's no use in spending every hour of every day trying to come up with some way to make things turn out the way I want, because I've done what I can, and the rest is out of my control. In the book I was just talking about, the author suggests a meditation meant to cultivate equanimity. It involves focusing on a few key ideas, which I've paraphrased here:

May I accept things as they are.
May I be undisturbed by the coming and going of people, places, and things in my life.
Although I wish for the happiness of others, may I remember that I cannot make their decisions for them.
Although I haven't really been doing much focused meditating lately, I've found that just repeating those phrases can help keep me calm and my mind clear. I can stop struggling to 'make things ok,' and just stay grounded in the knowledge that all that scrambling for control is wasted effort. All I can really do is wait to see what happens, and accept whatever comes my way."

Thank you Jenna for allowing me to put your article here and you know what? I think this fear you feel in front of your computer when you want to write an article that will depict the state of mind you’re in in an artful yet understandable way is something I’m often experiencing too. Don’t ask yourself too many question, just go with the flow. Ladies in their twenties tend to over think and want to know everything about anything and where it will lead them but in the end, it’s not that important. It’s not what truly matters. Enjoy what you’re currently feeling, express it as you can and it will be perfect. For a week, try not to think about the future and what you want/are expected to do in the next months/ year. It means you can only achieve little things for the next day, not further. When you’re confronted to any situation where you feel you’re over analyzing or projecting yourself too far in the future, try to find a way to stop you. Jenna you say you panic in those situation, maybe a good way for you to stop doing that would be to focus on something in particular, something that requires attention. The best thing I know for that is sports like go for a run or do some yoga (it always works for me!). Meditation could be cool but it requires a lot of energy at first to push away all your thoughts. Here is another advice I have for you: Read a Chris Prentiss book! According to him, everything that happens to us is a message from the universe and happens for our greatest benefit. It may be difficult to realize in some situations but accepting this idea can change your whole life!

You talk also in your post about the concept of “equanimity” from the author Sharon Salzberg. Basically you can resume this idea in saying you should never expect someone else/ somebody else to fulfil yourself. It’s a lesson that the universe reminded me a few weeks ago. For the occasion, I’m going to copy on What The Ladies Say the article I wrote about that in my personal blog.

It's fun to be a woman!

2009-07-06T14:20:00.001+01:00

“It's fun to be a woman. It's fun to flirt and wear makeup and have boobs.” Eva Mendes

Girls how well we know this feeling, huh? We've got those days that deep inside we feel that we can conquer whole world. We are so confident, so aware of our worth, it's just indescribable. So... we walk down the street and everyone looks at, we talk and everyone listens to, we act that everyone stares at and undeniably we feel abso-fucking-lutely happy!

The energy that you take from the air spreads immediately. Everyone who's in the same state is very welcome in your world. Then the impression is doubled! I can use just one word FABULOUS!

You just don't care what someone can think about you, you are just yourself. No limits. Feel free to speak up your mind, feel free to do everything you want, /of course we don't hurt anyone or we don't rob a bank! Don't take the power for that!/ walk upon the ground and just smile. With that kind of energy you attract people with the same attitude you have, I mean only positive and life-loving people you will have in your own entourage. How amazing it sounds, huh... I know!

I just work on a plan how to make those days to become a lifetime period. That would be phenomenal! Btw. Guys do you often feel like that?

best of love. Deva.

p.s. I copied this post from my personal blog but I posted it at the very beginning so I don't think much of you read it.

The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun

2009-07-06T11:29:00.007+01:00

Hey ladies!

Happy Monday! I hope you are all doing great today.

To enjoy life to the fullest, we should keep reminding ourselves of positive, inspirational, and motivational things. We should learn to let go, enjoy every single moment, and have fun. Sometimes we care too much about what other people would think of us. "What if I look stupid to them?" "What if they laugh at me?" "What if they talk about me and call me an idiot behind my back?" "How embarrassing that would be!" Things like that. I do it too. But now, whenever I am at it again, I would tell myself "Oh come on, who the hell cares???!!!" It is not other people, it is yourself that keep you tossing over the things that embarrass you.

We have been talking about self-improvement since we started this group blog, we have been discussing how to live a happier life by embracing the good things while letting go the unhappy ones. Today I watched a very positive video about self-improvement. I tried to catch every single word it says... I took some time to write down all those lines and post them in my personal blog. I know the video is not new but it is getting wild on the Internet. I think I should post all the lines here and share with you... In case you find some errors in the notes I took, let me know. Thank you.

This should the inspiration for my everyday life...

Are you having fun?
We do not have enough fun in our lives.
Fun is the pinch of salt that brings out the flavour.
Fun is the backbeat that gives the song it rhythm.
Fun is the first date that makes the heart go faster.
In other words, it is not absolutely necessary that you have fun...
But life is better when you do.
Make the eight irresistible principles a part of your life.
Feel better.
Do the stuff that really matters.

1. Get focused. Stop hiding who you really are. Take time to figure out what makes up your DNA. When it comes down to it, what do you stand for? "And then, when you know who you are. Turn up the volume! "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of someone else." Judy Garland, actress

2. Get focused. Start being intensely selfish. Get hungry for the things that are truly important to you. Think of the people you respect and love, the moments you relish, the impact you want to have, the legacy you want to leave. Bottom line: Don't waste your time on anything else. "When you come right down to it, all you have is yourself. All the rest is nothing" Pablo Picasso, artist

3. Be creative! Stop following the rules. With the exception of gravity, almost all of the rules are negotiable, someone just makes them up. It's no longer about what you can't do, it's about what you can do. "If you obey all the rules, you will miss all the fun" Katharine Hepburn, actress

4. Be Creative! Start scaring yourself. Explore the edges, dip your toe in the bold, the outrageous, and the unthinkable. Seek out and have adventures. "Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages. Bitter cold. Long months of darkness. Constant danger. Safe return doubtful." Ernest Shackleton, explorer

5. Use your wisdom. Stop taking it all so damn seriously. In this moment, is it a life or death decision? In 10 years, will you remember what you're fretting about? In 100 years, will anyone care? So lighten up, this too will pass." Don't take life too seriously. You will not get out of it alive" Elbert Hubbard, publisher

6. Use your wisdom. Start getting rid of the crap. Think of all the stuff that's weighting you down and getting in the way. Not just the things, but also the habits, the memories, the attitudes, the people. Get rid of that clutter. "Knowledge is the process of piling up facts; wisdom lies in their simplification." Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, civil rights leader

7. Take action. Stop being busy. Being busy is seductive. Just because you're going flat out doesn't mean you're on the right track. If it's the wrong hole, you need to stop digging. "We're lost, but we are making good time." Yogi Berra, baseball philosopher

8. Take action. Start something. Don’t wait any longer for permission to do what you want to do. There are always reasons to procrastinate just a little longer. Enough! Just start! "When all is said and done, there is a lot more said then done." Lou Holtz, sports coach

Click HERE to see "The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun" video! :o)

Ladies, remember, have fun! Have a good time, all the time!

Best of luck and love to your life,
Fran

21 Things I Want In A Lover

2009-07-05T09:53:00.017+01:00

Hey ladies!

The other day when I was reading comments on My A~Z List, I thought about what exactly I want in a lover (Thanks Deva you got me thinking!). Talking about the traits in a lover, I cannot help quoting the one below. Again it is going be another unoriginal post of me... But anyway! Happy reading! If you would like to check Deva's A~Z List: Here it is. It is really a good one!

Photo From Here

21 Things I Want In A Lover
By Alanis Morissette

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny?
la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow
Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week?
Up for being experimental? are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted?...curious and communicative...
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This song... I do not have anything more to say. My thumbs and toes all up for what it says. But are the standards way to high? Perhaps should we ask the same questions to ourselves, too?

Yes we do set our standards high. They should be high.

Oh... one thing that you may not know about Alanis.

She shares my birthday. :o)

Wishing you all a happy ending/ beginning!

Photo From Here

Much love,

Fran

Something Different

2009-07-04T01:15:00.007+01:00

Ladies!

Something different for today!

What can I say?... This guy is reeeeeeally COOL! I found him months ago on YouTube.

Search "David Meshow" in YouTube to see all his tricks or you can go directly to his website to know a little more about him.

His real name is David Michaud. :o)

All the best!
Fran

Happy Independence Day!

2009-07-03T13:11:00.002+01:00

Photo Credit: Creativity+ Timothy K Hamilton

Hey girls!

I know many of our Blogger friends are from the United States. Tomorrow, 4th of July, is a BIG day for the States. I would like to say "Happy 4th of July" to you who celebrate the Independence Day!!

Have a great big wonderful holiday weekend!

Best of love,
Fran

I'm the new lady!

2009-07-02T16:12:00.003+01:00

Hello everybody,

My name is Valérie and I am now officially a member for What the ladies say. Thanks Fran for the warm welcome! With this first post, I’d like to introduce myself and tell you a little bit more on the subjects that interest me.

First of all, I have to warn you : I’m French so I apologize for the eventual English mistakes I’ll do. My culture is important to me but I’m very open minded and love to learn about other countries, discovering new stuff, meet new people … But what I do like more than anything is learning about life and finding my purpose in this world. I have a BA in psychology which I think explain my huge interest in understanding myself, relations of all kind between individuals and self development (and TV shows and fashion but it does not really have anything to do with psychology!).

I created my own blog, En quête d’inspiration, a few months ago so that I can share with my readers some life lessons. The blog will still be active but I will put some of my articles here and feature also new people on What the Ladies say. I’m truly glad of the opportunity that has been given to me.

I believe there’s a lot of amazing 20somethings here on the Internet. They have great messages to deliver and I’ll try to help them to deliver it. I love discussions so if something I say don’t resonate with you, if you do not agree or if you just want to share your thoughts, just react to the articles. I want to hear your voices! Your opinion matters to me.

All the best,

Valérie

Welcome Our New Member Valérie! :o)

2009-07-02T09:18:00.006+01:00

WELCOME Our New Member- Valérie!

Click that "WELCOME", stare for a few seconds, and see what happens. :o)

Hey ladies! I would like to introduce a new member of our group, Valérie! Now we have got four people here in our team, yay! Valérie is the No.2 in our "Featuring You" series. I guess she will present a brief introduction of herself later. Anyway, WELCOME to Valérie! Enjoy writing here!

Have fun.

Best,
Fran

Life Is Like...

2009-07-02T08:22:00.008+01:00

"Do you ever think about life as a metaphor for television?"

"The best way to waste your life, ... is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for the details. Report. Don't participate."

There is a blog survey in many blogs I read recently. People list out things that they can/ can't do; will/ won't do; and should/ shouldn't do. Five items for each of those things, and they can be listed in any order and connected by "and" or "but". It is an interesting way for us to know ourselves. Here is my list.

Talking about life, today in our "Featuring You" series, I would like to feature Ana from far away, :o) and her post about "Life". Here it is. Enjoy reading, and tell us what you think.

Comparisons… random stuff

By Ana from far away

This morning I was analyzing my ceiling fan, watching it spin and spin, and thinking about life. Maybe I got dizzy and my mind started spinning to… so I decided to compare life with everyday random stuff, this is what I came up with. Might sound stupid, but anyways… What would you compare life with?

I would say life´s like______ because______:

- A beach/ with shinny days and storm days
- A sunset/ beautiful, something to contemplate
- Vitamin/ makes you stronger over time
- Diary/ your own pages to write your story
- Flower/ it grows, becomes something beautiful and then dies
- Credit Card/ provides, and then it charges back
- Manicure/ it takes tons of care but is great to have
- Christmas/ has a lot of gifts
- A picture/ is a frozen moment in time that lasts forever
- Broadway/ colorful, happy, and exiting
- Chocolate/ dark and sweet, soft and hard
- An old friend/ always haves good memories to share with someone
- A sale/ a lot of one day only opportunities
- Italy/ it has some AMAZING places
- A kiss/ it comes with a lot of good feelings (most of them)
- Exercise/ makes you stronger and prettier
- A test/ is a hard evaluation to pass
- Bikini season/ lots of sacrifices to make
- Diet/ only with effort you can truly achieve
- Addiction/ is hard to let it go
- A catfight/ you might not always win
- Wearing a dress in a windy place/ you get exposed when you least expect it
- Bad relationship/ could be shallow and a waste of time
- A bug/ is ugly and scary, sometimes comes with a disease also
- A bitch/ is ready to stab your back
- Allergy/ sometimes you can’t breathe properly
- A hangover/ is hard to get out of bed
- A casino/ the house always wins
- High heels/ they make the obstacles seem harder that what they are, even though they look amazing
- A video game/ you play with the elements
- Crashing a car/ is confusing, painful, and expensive
- An airport/ things come and go
- An ear infection/ you lose balance
- Being blind/ you have no idea what is waiting right next to you
- Wine/ is tasteful
- Snow/ is slippery
- A mirror/ it reflects who you are
- Time/ it never stops
- Birthday/ is a celebration
- Car/ it takes you somewhere
- Life/ life… a miracle
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Here are my random comparisons (listed before I read Ana's article):

Life is like a rainbow, you have all sorts of colours there, the dark ones, and the bright ones. A rainbow is beautiful because it does not contain but one colour, it has them all.

Life is like a journey, there are ups, and downs, so you go fast, and you slow down. Go fast and enjoy your ride with the wind, and slow down to enjoy the beautiful scenes along the way. Wherever you go, go with your heart, and stop when you need a rest.

And life is like...

Enjoy the chocolates!!! (I like the picture so much so I use it in our group blog, too!)

Best of luck and love for your life!
Fran

Bradshaw got me thinking... again!

2009-07-01T21:46:00.000+01:00

Yes once again Miss Bradshaw got me thinking and I've been thinking!!! Thinking about life, friends, life and of course relationships.

I need to quote her! "People say 'Everything happens for a reason.' These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a 'Goodbye,' But, apparently, women have to either get married or learn something." Why is so damn true??? Why we cannot just walk away without extra thinking? Without this drama? Without this heartache?!? Cos we are women. And we just can't. We were made for thinking! And God knows well - it's hard!

It was long time ago that I felt very sure and confident about myself and my life. And now I am. I am in that point of my life that I have absolutely grown up to decisions that must be made soon. And I am so damn happy! Recently I have had some doubts, but doubts are just doubts - we must overcome them! Remember those 20 ways of getting and staying happy... there was something about vision that we need to have a vision of ourselves and our future. So I can say it aloud. Now I have one. And I'm not afraid that something will go wrong. I'm just sure of what I want and now I know how to get it. Absolutely amazing feeling. As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.

Coming back to relationships. I "think" I get a clue why my past is haunting me and I'm begging you - don't laugh! I let my past to come back to my life again and I can't feel bad about it. I think is just kind of my protection of not involving in anything which includes feeling. Yes I think I got an answer about couple of questions that was still sticking to my head.

In love relationships there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. In fact it is a common belief that a relationship without pain is a relationship not worth having. To some pain implies growth. But how do we know when the growing pains stop and the pain pains begin? Are we masochists or optimists if we continue to walk that fine line? - that's so me! Why it should be easy?? I don't like a word "easy"! Everything which is easily attainable is not worth having it... in my humble opinion.

Finishing this post..."Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember".

Love you! Deva.

We Are At It Again :o)

2009-07-01T05:30:00.011+01:00

Hey Ladies!

To start with, HAPPY CANADA DAY to those who celebrate this special event!!

I have got two questions for you:

1. What are the three rings of marriage?
A great man said, "Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."
2. What is the secret of a happy marriage?
Another great man said, "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."

The answers are right below the questions, but all letters are mischievously painted white, so they are invisible, and you have to use your mouse to see those words! :o) Hope you enjoy a few chuckles.

Today we are going to talk about marriage (AGAIN), with our "Featuring You" girl, Monica from the U.S. "I write what I write because I can." That is how she describes herself, and I think she IS a cool, talented 20 something writer! I have been reading her blog "Confession Pearls" for quite a while and I do think there are lots of things in it which are relevant to me, and to 20 something ladies in general.

Okay, let's hear her voice now! Enjoy reading, and say what you say!

What's The Point in Marriage?
By Monica

Author Sandra Tsing Loh is ending her 20 year marriage. Why do we care?

We don't!

But she does bring up some good points on marriage in today's society. We'll go into her life later on, but first, a question was proposed by this situation of hers - "If nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, why do people insist on still tying the knot?

Many people marry for various reasons, may it be for money, sex, love, or whatever weird reasons. But with these things, why do we even waste our time doing so? Obviously these marriages don't last because when the sex starts to die out or when the money's gone, so is the partner.

But reading the article on Mrs. Loh, her husband is gone for about 20 weeks in the year. Besides from being gone, I'm sure his life is still consumed with work throughout the rest of the remaining weeks he is in her presence. Also, while he is gone for practically half of the year, Mrs. Loh must depend on herself to take care of herself, their children, the house, bills, and etc. If this is what her life is, what's the point in even getting married?

We can all relate to this, whether you are married or not. We are all consumed by work and other priorities that we don't have time to spend with our significant others. For some, it just feels pointless in being in a relationship. I admit it, sometimes I feel this way because I feel like I already do everything myself.

Mrs. Loh admits that she sees the rest of her life as lonely and going down to the gave as she does most nights of her life as a wife - going to bed alone with a glass of wine and a good book! I don't believe we can live single lives, we all need someone, we need that human touch. What I do believe is the Mrs. Loh is feeling hurt and this is why she has come out and lashed out on the subject of marriage. For her, it was pointless in being married to someone she barely saw and that could not take care of their family. She herself was already doing everything that she just felt no need to be with her husband any longer. Which she was right about! Why be with someone whose values aren't family first or cannot take care of the family emotionally or physically?

What I think is that with this scorn, if she is open enough, she will find someone that can change her ideas. Someone that will heal her of this heartache of someone not being there for her. Although she is an independent woman, she longs for someone she can be dependent on. She needs someone whose values are family first. Hopefully she can find that closure soon.

Mrs. Loh is right, in today's society there is no such thing as happily ever after in a marriage. But to change that, in our relationships, we much look at ourselves and realize what is most important and prioritize. Sure work can pay the mortgage and put food on the table, but it can't take back the years of neglect on a child, wife, husband, or girl/boyfriend.
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For some, it just feels pointless in being in a relationship." Monica is right. I myself sometimes the same way that it is not "necessary" to be in a relationship/ marriage because I can handle things all pretty well by myself. But I guess, and I hope it is merely part of the "20 Something Mentality" and I do hope it will not stick with me for all my life.

"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle." - A Great Woman

Want a miracle, too? "Learn to give, and take." My Mom once told me. This December she and my Dad are going to celebrate their 28th wedding anniversary. They are happy, and still so in love. I wish I could be like them one day. "Marry Happily", yeah I want that too.

Much love.

Fran