Sunday, June 14, 2009

Unbutton One Button

I might unbutton one button still talking about the relationships. Well I just can't help myself or maybe I don't want to. It's kind of coming clean process, sharing with you guys all my thoughts, conceptions and views. I just always get something on my mind, always some new observations that have just crossed my head. This post will be also based on Carrie Bradshaw's talk and writing. Being honest, who can better describe your feeling than an ultimate single New York's gal?

After the rain comes the sun, after the winter comes the spring, after the pain comes the cure. After all this time you were suffering, trying to figure out, you think, I should have known, I should have seen, but what if all what you saw, was a smoke that you couldn't see through. A beautiful illusion.
How awful is to realize that it seems like he had you, but you haven't really had him. Such a hard lesson to learn.

Maybe it's about high time to change the attitude and approach from blaming yourself to taking yourself as the high value. Take Bradshaw's words to your heart and make from them your daily prayer: You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it. So just love, make mistakes, and have wonderful times, but never second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly, where it is you are going.

Sometimes second chances work out even better than the first because you learn from your mistakes. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes you're just holding on things known and safe and you're afraid to let go and feel free. You keep on giving millions of chances which leads you to unhappiness and pain. Should we really give a second chance? If it didn't work out for this first time, why we should even bother to fight for? Or maybe this is the point that we should keep on fighting to make the relationship better and better. But maybe it's not love anymore. Maybe it's just an addiction or an habit? We're all looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.

I realised I had just entered an interesting chapter in my life. I had outgrown the boys of my past and not quite grown into the men of my future. My mind is an open universal I can create whatever I want, right? That's why I love my life. No matter what's going to happen I have always a plan B. And plan B isn't worse then plan A. It's just different. Sometimes someone who's standing in the end of line in your own alphabet pushed his way through the crowd and here is he making changes in your plan. You didn't ask for, you just got it. And then like nothing's happened he takes another round to another alphabet. We need to get rid of all those Z guys and take only with the label A.

Eventually all the pieces fall into place....until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason.

Much Love.Deva.

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