Wednesday, July 1, 2009

We Are At It Again :o)

Hey Ladies!

To start with, HAPPY CANADA DAY to those who celebrate this special event!!

I have got two questions for you:

1. What are the three rings of marriage?
A great man said, "Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."
2. What is the secret of a happy marriage?
Another great man said, "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."

The answers are right below the questions, but all letters are mischievously painted white, so they are invisible, and you have to use your mouse to see those words! :o) Hope you enjoy a few chuckles.

Today we are going to talk about marriage (AGAIN), with our "Featuring You" girl, Monica from the U.S. "I write what I write because I can." That is how she describes herself, and I think she IS a cool, talented 20 something writer! I have been reading her blog "Confession Pearls" for quite a while and I do think there are lots of things in it which are relevant to me, and to 20 something ladies in general.

Okay, let's hear her voice now! Enjoy reading, and say what you say!

Author Sandra Tsing Loh is ending her 20 year marriage. Why do we care?

We don't!

But she does bring up some good points on marriage in today's society. We'll go into her life later on, but first, a question was proposed by this situation of hers - "If nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, why do people insist on still tying the knot?

Many people marry for various reasons, may it be for money, sex, love, or whatever weird reasons. But with these things, why do we even waste our time doing so? Obviously these marriages don't last because when the sex starts to die out or when the money's gone, so is the partner.

But reading the article on Mrs. Loh, her husband is gone for about 20 weeks in the year. Besides from being gone, I'm sure his life is still consumed with work throughout the rest of the remaining weeks he is in her presence. Also, while he is gone for practically half of the year, Mrs. Loh must depend on herself to take care of herself, their children, the house, bills, and etc. If this is what her life is, what's the point in even getting married?

We can all relate to this, whether you are married or not. We are all consumed by work and other priorities that we don't have time to spend with our significant others. For some, it just feels pointless in being in a relationship. I admit it, sometimes I feel this way because I feel like I already do everything myself.

Mrs. Loh admits that she sees the rest of her life as lonely and going down to the gave as she does most nights of her life as a wife - going to bed alone with a glass of wine and a good book! I don't believe we can live single lives, we all need someone, we need that human touch. What I do believe is the Mrs. Loh is feeling hurt and this is why she has come out and lashed out on the subject of marriage. For her, it was pointless in being married to someone she barely saw and that could not take care of their family. She herself was already doing everything that she just felt no need to be with her husband any longer. Which she was right about! Why be with someone whose values aren't family first or cannot take care of the family emotionally or physically?

What I think is that with this scorn, if she is open enough, she will find someone that can change her ideas. Someone that will heal her of this heartache of someone not being there for her. Although she is an independent woman, she longs for someone she can be dependent on. She needs someone whose values are family first. Hopefully she can find that closure soon.

Mrs. Loh is right, in today's society there is no such thing as happily ever after in a marriage. But to change that, in our relationships, we much look at ourselves and realize what is most important and prioritize. Sure work can pay the mortgage and put food on the table, but it can't take back the years of neglect on a child, wife, husband, or girl/boyfriend.

For some, it just feels pointless in being in a relationship." Monica is right. I myself sometimes the same way that it is not "necessary" to be in a relationship/ marriage because I can handle things all pretty well by myself. But I guess, and I hope it is merely part of the "20 Something Mentality" and I do hope it will not stick with me for all my life.

"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle." - A Great Woman

Want a miracle, too? "Learn to give, and take." My Mom once told me. This December she and my Dad are going to celebrate their 28th wedding anniversary. They are happy, and still so in love. I wish I could be like them one day. "Marry Happily", yeah I want that too.

Much love.


Deva84 said...

"It's not gonna be easy, It's gonna be really hard. But we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I wanna do that beacuse I want you. All of you...forever." Big to Carrie

It's a really good post! I liked reading it.
My parents had yesterday 25th wedding anniversary, wasn't always easy and beautiful but they love each other and they work on this relationship every day.

Personally I believe in marriage and in love. I don't want to be 30 something single girl clubbing and searching for I don't know what.

love. deva!

Fran said...

Ture love gets people to do everything, just everything, to keep their love alive.

Regarding the 30 Something Single Club Searching for "don't-know-what"...I do not want to be one of them either!


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