Saturday, August 8, 2009

How to not… get annoyed by people! OMG!!

(This post is based on Alexander Kjerulf’s article: “How not to let annoying people annoy you”)

I am a positive person, I try to see only the good stuff and ignore the bad one, but today I am pissed!!! I haven’t felt this angry in years, yesterday I really wanted to hit someone. This is not me… but I am human and will fail sometimes. The best thing one can do is to look for help, it can be your parents, a shrink, Google, or whatever makes you happy. I found an interesting article at an interesting web site.

Annoying people… GOD!!! They are annoying. As much as you try, it´s hard to ignore them let’s be honest. I always allow myself to be angry for like 10 minutes, and then go back to life. During those 10 min I can yell, curse, whatever makes me feel better without hurting anyone. But here are some other strategies for when you feel your head is boiling.

1: Staying calm means you don’t do something you regret later: Sometimes when you get really mad, you may end up doing something rash. If you can stay calm, you’re more likely to choose constructive actions.

2: Getting mad often means staying mad: If you get annoyed here and now, that bad mood may last for a long time.

3: When you stay calm, you really annoy those who want to annoy others: If that person is truly out to annoy you, the very best way to annoy them back is to stay cool. Deny them the satisfaction of getting you riled. They hate that.

4: You only harm yourself: Getting annoyed really harms no one but you.

5: Getting annoyed makes it easier to get mad the next time: You start a cycle of anger – which means it takes less and less to set you off.

6: Dreaming of revenge is bad for you: This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well. - Francis Bacon

7: Getting annoyed makes the memory stronger: Anything you experience while having a strong emotion, will be etched permanently in your mind. This is why some people can remember every little detail of that incident 8 years ago where some jerk cut them off on the highway. The problem is that the memory becomes so strong that it keeps coming back to you and keeps annoying you for years.

8: Instead of getting mad at annoying people – feel sorry for them: Jerks are very often jerks because they feel bad themselves. Hating them is really a waste of time – feel sorry for them instead.

9: Sometimes you’re at fault and blowing up just makes it worse
Sometimes it turns out, that the whole thing is actually your own fault. If you previously blew up at someone, then you look really silly…

10: It’s not about you
Most jerks you will meet are not really out to get you, personally – this is how they treat everyone.

11: It may not be intentional at all Maybe they have absolutely no idea that they’re annoying you.

12: Losing your temper makes you look bad Even if you’re in the right in the situation, if you lose your temper you can end up looking silly, petty or unreasonable.

13: Laugh about it: Most workplace jerk behavior is annoying sure, but when you really look at it, it’s mostly pathetic and ridiculous. Laugh at it, rather than get annoyed.

14: Is it a case of projection?: Few things annoy us more than other people displaying the same weaknesses and faults as we fear we have ourselves. If a person really, really ticks you off, maybe that person is just making you think about some weak sides you’d rather not admit you have.

15: Maybe it’s an honest mistake: And most of all: People make mistakes. Don’t read too much into it when people do inconsiderate things. It may simply be an honest mistake.

So yes… Jerks are very often jerks because they feel bad themselves. Hating them is really a waste of time. But allow yourself for a few seconds at least to throw away all that bad energy that is created, don’t keep it inside.
I can´t believe I got so annoyed I wanted to hit someone… I hate violence! Now that I feel a little better, I can see and analyze my mistakes while dealing with this situations.

1 comment:

O.F.C.J. said...

Good tips. I will remeber for when necessary.


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