Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Forgive And Forget

(Inspired by Haunted By The Past by Sabz.)

Every one has memories, memories which are dazzling and brilliant, and memories dark and painful. People often say that we should forgive and forget and let go our unhappy past, but Can We?

Forgiving and forgetting are not for anybody else. They are for yourself. They are for making yourself feel better and relieved and focus on the future. Life is a journey and for each unhappy memory, we gave ourselves a huge burden. Those burdens, they drag us and keep us from moving on and making progress. They make the way to our goals harder and longer. By letting go, we unload those burdens therefore we are able to move forward more easily.

Twelve years ago, my desk mate hurt my toe with a chair. He did not mean it, and he still does not quite believe that my toe nail got seriously deformed because of the accident and was finally torn off in an operation and that my toe never looked "right", or "normal" ever since... I was so hurt because it would be some "mark" on me for all my life. I was hurt over again and again for each time I looked down and saw my deformed toe nail... I could not get over it, never.

As time goes by, I realized no matter how hard I tried to cover it up, the scar would be right there like always and the ultimate cure for it is the acceptance from my own heart, because taking it as it is seems to be the easiest way to make myself feel any better. It is going to be a lifelong battle which I will never win if I keep being obsessed with it.

Twelve years is a "circle" in a Chinese sense. A circle, to me, does not mean that things will repeat, so you will never have a chance to go through all the best moments in your life, nor the worst ones. However, a circle in your life, just like the annual rings of trees, gives you a new look, which makes you look "obviously different" from your former self. As for my life circle, a time of twelve years, it does not only make me "look" different, but also teaches me to "look" at my life in a different way. That is how people grow, like trees, right? We are the way we are. Anything good or bad of me will be with me. I will definitely make changes for a better self and I will learn to be comfortable with those flaws that I cannot get rid of.

Forgive and forget, are the same thing. They are going to let your tree grow, up, and up, and up.

Forgive and forget the past, focus on the present, and always fight for the future.

Best of Love,


Katie said...

Fran -

What you say about forgiveness is absolutely true. Its painful to carry around the resentment for someone else. Though its not always easy to forgive right away, once you do, a weight is lifted.

Thanks for the reminder!

Fran said...

Katie : )

Thank you for the comment! When I do not know what to write about, I reflect and try to say again the truth :P


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