Thursday, June 18, 2009

Something Chinese- Relationship & Marriage

A few days ago, a friend from Mexico asked me to write something about Chinese culture, on the topic of "relationship/ marriage". Below is a post based on my observation, and in a general sense, and like all my other posts, it is always open to discussion.

Okay, Chinese relationship/ marriage... is a HUGE topic. Nowadays, in China, normally men and women meet and get to know each other by socializing with their common friends/ relatives (in most cases I guess). It is a kind of "fix-up". Many people go for online dating as well. I guess people all over the world do pretty much the same thing, don't they? Chances for "workplace relationship" are quite slim according to my observation but there are exceptions.

I know a company made up of three couples- they have got one "couple" couple, and two "colleagues" couples, I mean these two couples got to know each other at this company, and then fell in love, got engaged and then they got married.

Workplace relationship is rose for some people but poison for the other...
Men/ Some women: WTF?! Aren't the guys got bored by staring at the same face ALL day long????
Ladies/ A few guys: How sweet!!! They are will each other ALL day long!!!

Regarding to the marriage: to me it is something like a DEAL. When people get engaged, the guy (or his family) will give some money to the girl's family (some girls' parents choose to give back the money to the "wedding funds"). The amount differs from place to place and it depends on how much he can afford. The money is supposed to be used for some jewelries, wedding dresses, nice shoes, and so on, for the lady. People will pick a good and lucky day to get their "wedding certificate" at Civil Affairs Administration and make their husband and wife status "legal and official". This special day should be chosen according to both the Chinese Lunar Calendar and the normal one that now we use worldwide. Normally the number 3 and 4 will be avoided, because they both sound "sad" in Chinese, but it is not always the rule.

A few months before the wedding ceremony, people would do the wedding photo taking which cost A LOT for a "proper" wedding album according to most people's judgement. Literally people go to the seaside, or the forests, or some "fake but fabulous" backgrounds to take their wedding photos. The wedding dresses are chosen and rented as the ladies wish and it can take a long time for taking such photos, say, two months if they only take photos on weekends...

The wedding ceremony is the biggest part of the whole thing. The couple would invite everybody they know to the ceremony/ normally a lunch/ perhaps a dinner, in order to collect money. Everyone going to the ceremony must bring some money, well the more the better. People probably will give the couple a hard time at the ceremony, asking them to do stupid, or embarrassing things they could ever think of, in front of everyone, like asking the bride to roll an egg inside the groom's pants, from the left foot, to the right one... or anything like that... Or otherwise, a wedding party can be quite "normal" and "uneventful". People just give money to the bride and the groom, say some nice things, eat their lunch/ dinner, and go.

In case the couple get married in somewhere else and they get back to where they live/ work, they have to invite their colleagues or some acquaintances. It is almost a must.

Actually you may choose not to invite anybody else except for your families, and close friends, and so on, and make your wedding really private.

It is a really long and dull post... Perhaps I should make it a story. That would be fun and "more real"...



Sabz said...

Hey Fran.

Why do you think it was a long and dull post? I enjoyed reading it...


Fran said...

Sabz : )

Thank you so much! Pfffff... it just reminds me of some boring scenes that I have watched over and over again in my life...

SavvyD said...

My brother and his wife got along really well and worked together for many years. Some people might not enjoy this, but it worked for them. My brother really loves her.

Fran said...

@ SavvyD : )

Yeah it works for many people, even including my own parents! They have been married for nearly 30 years and have been worked together for around 16... And they are still so in love. They are a miracle!

Thanks for the comments!

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