Monday, June 15, 2009

HAUNTED BY THE PAST

A couple of days ago, I came across my fellow blogger friends who wrote briefly about her past and its repercussions on her life. An hour ago a very good pal from my Home town, Mumbai called in to seek my counsel on his forever distorted love life and the demons of his past that haunt him...

I too had a very painful Past. So painful, that when I look back at it , I don't know how I braved it through all..From ugly break-ups, to bad parenting. From vicious friends to Financial Crisis. Been there and Done with it!.

I still clearly remember how obsessed I was about my first Boyfriend. Looking back I give myself full points for being so naive to fall for him. He was such a jerk. Never there for me. I was always in an on-off relationship with him. Actually I must not even consider it as a relationship. Though he screwed my sanity and peace. I just ruined a lot on my time thinking about how I could get back at him and teach him a lesson or two. I would visualize umpteen times in my head how to prove to him that, what a mistake he had done using my time, energy and feelings..I wanted to ruin him for scarring me so bad..

I could never move on properly. After him I fell in and out of two short term ugly relationships. All they did was hurt me..

And now, I am in a beautiful relationship with my boyfriend of almost 4 years now!.The longest relationship I have ever had. I must get an award for Stability here ;)...

Looking back, I am glad I came across all the Wrong guys in my life. Ironically, They made me into a beautiful person that I am today. I have done well in life. Professionally I am more sound today. I am sure my ex - losers not lovers now look at me on TV and feel the sorry for themselves..

What worked for me is the fact that I took pain in my stride. I enjoyed my encounter with pain. I loved the war that took place between myself and the demons from my past. Time and Again, I refuse to give my past the power to hurt me. I certainly won the battle more gracefully..I am proud of myself..

Also one more thing that worked in my favour is that I accepted that there was no looking back in terms of reconciliation..All my past boyfriends are either officially engaged and some married..

I will also be married some day not with regret but while I am at peace..

Its important to clean our closet within our self..More the junk and unwanted stuff inside it, more the pain...

To all those who are still grieving and nursing a broken heart: How dare you let someone just walk into your life and turn things upside down for worse? Wake up and Smell the Coffee..Its all within you..you are hurting yourself .. But you also have the power to NOT make your life so miserable..

The Choice is yours.. I made my Choices and I am very content

Cheers from the Agony Aunt that's me

Sabz

PS: Leaving you with a song from Sex and The City. This is Miranda's song.. Enjoy the music...Please click on the URL pasted below..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_22DWXBevc

2 comments:

Fran said...

Great post Sabz! I think it has something for everyone, and I got inspired by this one! Thanks for participating!

Best of love,
Fran

Sabz said...

I haad fun writing it too..Hope you are well Fran. Looking forward to more sunch posts..

Cheers

Sabz

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