Be Afriad Not To Try.

bisous. deva.

Decisions, decisions.

(Just wanted to update any of you, just in case you follow my own, personal blog, that I have a different blog address now. You can find it here. Please update your Google Readers, links, feeds, etc.)

A lot of people would agree that your twenties are a time where a lot of us make several "adult-like" decisions-- whether it means choosing a career path, committing to a relationship, finding a place to settle, becoming financially independent, and so on.

How do you cope with trying to make an important, life-changing decision? More importantly, how can you make that decision and avoid the "what-ifs" or any taste of regret. What helps you make a confident decision?

Do you:

• Follow your heart?
• Do what seems most logical?
• Make a pro/con list?
• Ask family or friends for advice?
• Cross your fingers and leave it up to fate...what's meant to happen will happen?

I need to make some important decisions, but lately I feel in a rut because I am not sure how to pick the right one, and I want to be sure to avoid making a decision I'll later regret.

Any advice for your fellow blogger? :)

xoxo,

Lisa

Difficulties are ...

Today I opened my fortune cookie and I read this line. I thought I will share this one with you guys coz it's simple and beautiful.

It's been awhile I haven't read something more motivating than this one.

Have a great weekend! Deva.

How to not… get annoyed by people! OMG!!

(This post is based on Alexander Kjerulf’s article: “How not to let annoying people annoy you”)

I am a positive person, I try to see only the good stuff and ignore the bad one, but today I am pissed!!! I haven’t felt this angry in years, yesterday I really wanted to hit someone. This is not me… but I am human and will fail sometimes. The best thing one can do is to look for help, it can be your parents, a shrink, Google, or whatever makes you happy. I found an interesting article at an interesting web site.

Annoying people… GOD!!! They are annoying. As much as you try, it´s hard to ignore them let’s be honest. I always allow myself to be angry for like 10 minutes, and then go back to life. During those 10 min I can yell, curse, whatever makes me feel better without hurting anyone. But here are some other strategies for when you feel your head is boiling.

1: Staying calm means you don’t do something you regret later: Sometimes when you get really mad, you may end up doing something rash. If you can stay calm, you’re more likely to choose constructive actions.

2: Getting mad often means staying mad: If you get annoyed here and now, that bad mood may last for a long time.

3: When you stay calm, you really annoy those who want to annoy others: If that person is truly out to annoy you, the very best way to annoy them back is to stay cool. Deny them the satisfaction of getting you riled. They hate that.

4: You only harm yourself: Getting annoyed really harms no one but you.

5: Getting annoyed makes it easier to get mad the next time: You start a cycle of anger – which means it takes less and less to set you off.

6: Dreaming of revenge is bad for you: This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well. - Francis Bacon

7: Getting annoyed makes the memory stronger: Anything you experience while having a strong emotion, will be etched permanently in your mind. This is why some people can remember every little detail of that incident 8 years ago where some jerk cut them off on the highway. The problem is that the memory becomes so strong that it keeps coming back to you and keeps annoying you for years.

8: Instead of getting mad at annoying people – feel sorry for them: Jerks are very often jerks because they feel bad themselves. Hating them is really a waste of time – feel sorry for them instead.

9: Sometimes you’re at fault and blowing up just makes it worse
Sometimes it turns out, that the whole thing is actually your own fault. If you previously blew up at someone, then you look really silly…

10: It’s not about you
Most jerks you will meet are not really out to get you, personally – this is how they treat everyone.

11: It may not be intentional at all Maybe they have absolutely no idea that they’re annoying you.

12: Losing your temper makes you look bad Even if you’re in the right in the situation, if you lose your temper you can end up looking silly, petty or unreasonable.

13: Laugh about it: Most workplace jerk behavior is annoying sure, but when you really look at it, it’s mostly pathetic and ridiculous. Laugh at it, rather than get annoyed.

14: Is it a case of projection?: Few things annoy us more than other people displaying the same weaknesses and faults as we fear we have ourselves. If a person really, really ticks you off, maybe that person is just making you think about some weak sides you’d rather not admit you have.

15: Maybe it’s an honest mistake: And most of all: People make mistakes. Don’t read too much into it when people do inconsiderate things. It may simply be an honest mistake.

So yes… Jerks are very often jerks because they feel bad themselves. Hating them is really a waste of time. But allow yourself for a few seconds at least to throw away all that bad energy that is created, don’t keep it inside.
I can´t believe I got so annoyed I wanted to hit someone… I hate violence! Now that I feel a little better, I can see and analyze my mistakes while dealing with this situations.

Management Training Course - wink!

Please see the 5 minute Miller Heiman management training course:

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

Have a great evening! Deva!

*source - my email!

Happiness...one day at a time.

I am going to be brutally honest here when I tell you that it has taken me a very long time to become a happy and positive person. In fact, I am not fully there quite yet. No, I am not Miss Negativity, but I have spent a large portion of my late teens/early twenties with a little bit of a jaded and unenthusiastic attitude towards things, particularly my future (relationships and career, mostly).

In the past, I would always ask myself questions like "Why not me?!" or "Why can't I have/become/accomplish/ that?" It wasn't until last year when I was 22 that I realized I am the only one in control of creating and maintaining my own inner happiness. No one else can be held responsible. No person can make me happy...true happiness lies within my own hands, and my hands only. Everything or everyone else just adds an extra dose of happiness to my life. :) I can honestly tell you that a positive and optimistic attitude is one of the greatest traits you can have...my life has been so different since adopting this new way of thinking. I wish I could take back all of the years I spend wishing instead of creating, or sulking instead of celebrating.

Below is an article that I read online at Cosmopolitan discussing happiness and the secret ways to become a happier person. The article isn't too deep or life-changing, but it does remind us to live in the moment and appreciate happy moments and to not dwell on the past or on things that you are not in control of. What do you to maintain a positive outlook on life?

-Lisa

The Surprising Way to Feel Happier:

There’s a proven technique to getting more pleasure out of life: staying in — and savoring — the moment. Sounds easy, but it takes a few mental tricks to accomplish.

Question: What were you doing right before started reading this article? You may have been sipping a latte or listening to music, but chances are, your head was elsewhere — ruminating about something from the past or plotting about the future, like that guy you hope will call or the Hawaiian island you plan to visit once you can finally take off time from work. It's a perfectly common state of being. But by never experiencing the moment, we miss the chance to savor life's many small pleasures, like that latte and chocolate-chip scone. In fact, studies show that simply being aware of what's happening this minute is linked to greater optimism, self-confidence, and happiness.

Of course, the question is, how do you stay mindful like that? Well, it takes some effort, honestly. There are distractions in every modern woman's life that make just being in the present difficult. But once you see what the snags are, you can navigate around them to a more pleasurable existence. "And when you're not distracted by all the things you're juggling mentally, you see things with more clarity," says psychologist Sylvia Boorstein, PhD, author of Happiness Is an Inside Job. "That helps you make better decisions and be more resilient when you hit hard times." So start here to free yourself from the stuff that holds you back from being happy right about now.

Goal 1: Savor the Mini Moments
Part of what makes your 20s and 30s so awesome are celebrations that spotlight how far you've come as an adult. But those graduations, engagements, and promotions aren't finish lines. They're just markers along the path.

"Investing too much emotion in thinking about exactly how you'll feel when something big happens — like 'I will be so happy when I'm finally walking down the aisle' — may prevent you from enjoying what actually happens," says Daniel Siegel, MD, author of The Developing Mind and associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California at Los Angeles. "The end result may not look quite the way you thought it would...or even appear at all."

Tunnel vision also blinds you to joyful mini experiences you could be enjoying along the way. "We're so anxious to get to that yearly vacation with friends that we can overlook fun, impromptu girls' nights out or chats over coffee," says life coach Valorie Burton, author of How Did I Get So Busy?

How to pull it off: Make a conscious effort to notice how ordinary events can swell into extraordinary pleasure. "Focus on the sensory power in your routines, like how great your guy smells when you cuddle or the first delicious bite of your lunch," says Burton. Also, treat yourself to three little things each day that make you happy, whether it's meeting a friend for mani/pedis or walking by your cute coworker's office just to get a glimpse.

Goal 2: Do One Simple Thing at a Time
Your talent for doing about 83 tasks at once gives you superstar status at work. That instinct sneaks into life off the clock too. You can't just cook dinner — you have to do it with the TV on mute while chatting with Mom as music plays in the background. Hell of a downtime.

"For whatever reason, women often feel guilty if they're not accomplishing several meaningful things simultaneously," says Boorstein. But teaming up on activities saps your ability to delight in individual experiences. "And the ironic part is, you can't even remember doing half those important tasks because your brain allocates focal attention to only one thing at a time," explains Dr. Siegel.

How to pull it off: Once and for all, ditch the "Do something!" guilt complex and realize that not every moment has to be an exercise in superwomandom. "It is enough to just spend a few minutes laughing at a stupid YouTube video or lounging on the couch with your head on your boyfriend's lap," says Boorstein.

Goal 3: Take a Breather from Your Totally Wired World
In theory, posting up-to-the-nanosecond reflections on your mood on Facebook or Twitter is the epitome of staying in the moment. But publicizing real-time emotions makes you like that chick at a party who can't stop snapping photos. "You're so busy documenting the present for other people or so you can reflect on it later that you don't even register your own emotions," says Dr. Siegel. "And you end up feeling numb or scattered instead."

Also, you wonder, What would my boss think? Or that guy who just friended me? By the time you've tweaked your update, you've censored what you really feel or forgotten your impulse to post it in the first place.

How to pull it off: Take a hiatus from posting status updates online. "Not having to process everything for an audience will help you home in on what's happening now and enjoy moments as they come," explains Burton. And if you get the urge to share, do it the old-fashioned way: Call a friend. Also, check e-mail or Facebook three set times per day. "It gives you something to look forward to, but you won't feel enslaved by it," says Burton.

Goal 4: Liberate Yourself from the Past
Everyone gets drop-kicked by life at some point. And as a smart chick, your inclination is to ponder your way out of a problem: How could I have been so stupid as to date him? or Why do people act this way? But getting hung up on the whys can be just as damaging as the blow that knocked you off your game in the first place.

"Women ruminate over past mistakes or hurts, believing that if they just think about them hard enough, they'll see a solution or sign of closure," says Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, PhD, author of Women Who Think Too Much. Here's the reality: For many dilemmas, no amount of head-scratching will ever deliver an epiphany. Adds Nolen-Hoeksema: "Even if you're aware that you need to do something to get over a bad situation, you'll be less likely to take action if you let yourself think about factors out of your control, such as what motivated someone to hurt you."

How to pull it off: Rather than feel hamstrung by the mysterious behavior of others, free yourself to take action on your own terms. "Examine what you can do differently the next time, resolve to do that, then move on," says Nolen-Hoeksema. And when obsessive thoughts launch their insidious attack, distract yourself. Take 30 seconds to breathe slowly and deeply, concentrating on the in-and-out sensation. "It's so simple — just five breaths can clarify your thoughts and help balance your feelings," says Dr. Siegel.