Ladies, Say Hello & Say Goodbye: It Is An Assignment!

Hey ladies!

Life is an adventure. We encounter and embrace new things and we wave and say farewell to the old ones. "Hello" and "Goodbye" are probably two most frequently used words in our everyday life. We say "Hello" to new friends, to our brand-new dresses, to our dreamed jobs, to a great plan, to an original idea. Why? Because we lOVE them! But life is not always about good things to be happy about. Like it or not, we also have to say "Goodbye". Sometimes it is really hard to say the word because it can be hurtful and it just feels much easier to keep holding on. But in some cases, it is wise and usually a good idea to let go. It is a daring thing to do, isn't it? Sometimes it feels like telling everybody else you are leaving and you leave without looking back and actually you have no idea what is going to happen next and there is nothing you can do but keep moving on. Perhaps the goodbye is not forever, but you will never know until you say it and really mean it. Saying goodbye to one thing probably means saying hello to the other. It allows room for new things, for transformation, for exploration, and for better understanding of yourself. In some cases, goodbye is really the end, but a good one!

That is why I write this post. Hopefully it inspires you in some way. I intend to make it an "assignment". In this assignment, I would like to know your "Hellos" and "Goodbyes". Say hello to all the exciting challenges you want to face, and say goodbye to all the things you need to let go: bad habits, the passing of your loved ones, ex-boyfriends, or girlfriends, self-destructive feelings and behaviours, jobs, projects, or thoughts, anything.

But please write them as simple lists. Each can be a list of only one item, or a list of 1001 things. It is all up to you! By the way, for the Goodbye List, please take a moment with each one to really say goodbye. This isn't a catalogue of your fears and faults, this is a ceremony to bid them farewell.

I will show you mine first.

My Hello List:
- Hello my new haircut! Thanks to my new hairdresser. I know I still look stupid now, but less stupid than last time. And no matter what, my hair is growing anyway! (This one is for who I AM.)
- Hello Canada! I almost see you smile and wave at me. Almost! (This one, for my FUTURE.)
- Hello all my team members and all my readers! Starting this group blog is probably the best thing I have ever done! I do not want to say "Thank You!" any more. My gratitude is beyond words. (This one, the last but the most important one, is for YOU!!!)

And My Goodbye List:
- Goodbye my ex! You are so... such an a**hole but thanks for letting me know what and who are the most important to me. (This one is for the PAST.)
- Goodbye my bills! Thank God I finally paid you all for this month! (This one is for the PRESENT...)
- Goodbye biting fingers... I guess I have been doing really well for the past few months, and I do hope I will not get into it again! (This one is for the FUTURE.)

Ooookay ladies... I can only think of such shallow things about my "Hellos" and "Goodbyes", and I would love to hear yours! There will be a follow-up post with all your feedbacks and my thoughts by August 8, 2009!

It is just an experimental project of me, let me know what you think about this "assignment" thing. Or perhaps you have your suggested assignments for us all. For all your lists and suggestions, please comment, e-mail me at fran9719@gmail.com, or write something in your blog and let me know! I will not use any of your thoughts for anything else. It is a PROMISE.

Best of love,
Fran

Forgive And Forget

(Inspired by Haunted By The Past by Sabz.)

Every one has memories, memories which are dazzling and brilliant, and memories dark and painful. People often say that we should forgive and forget and let go our unhappy past, but Can We?

Forgiving and forgetting are not for anybody else. They are for yourself. They are for making yourself feel better and relieved and focus on the future. Life is a journey and for each unhappy memory, we gave ourselves a huge burden. Those burdens, they drag us and keep us from moving on and making progress. They make the way to our goals harder and longer. By letting go, we unload those burdens therefore we are able to move forward more easily.

Twelve years ago, my desk mate hurt my toe with a chair. He did not mean it, and he still does not quite believe that my toe nail got seriously deformed because of the accident and was finally torn off in an operation and that my toe never looked "right", or "normal" ever since... I was so hurt because it would be some "mark" on me for all my life. I was hurt over again and again for each time I looked down and saw my deformed toe nail... I could not get over it, never.

As time goes by, I realized no matter how hard I tried to cover it up, the scar would be right there like always and the ultimate cure for it is the acceptance from my own heart, because taking it as it is seems to be the easiest way to make myself feel any better. It is going to be a lifelong battle which I will never win if I keep being obsessed with it.

Twelve years is a "circle" in a Chinese sense. A circle, to me, does not mean that things will repeat, so you will never have a chance to go through all the best moments in your life, nor the worst ones. However, a circle in your life, just like the annual rings of trees, gives you a new look, which makes you look "obviously different" from your former self. As for my life circle, a time of twelve years, it does not only make me "look" different, but also teaches me to "look" at my life in a different way. That is how people grow, like trees, right? We are the way we are. Anything good or bad of me will be with me. I will definitely make changes for a better self and I will learn to be comfortable with those flaws that I cannot get rid of.

Forgive and forget, are the same thing. They are going to let your tree grow, up, and up, and up.

Forgive and forget the past, focus on the present, and always fight for the future.

Best of Love,
Fran

Carrie Bradshaw inspiration.

How in these days you can set yourself free by making you and me? Well after seeing sex and the city millions of times I got noticed that the perfect way to be with someone is a must to reject that person first or you must be rejected. U can choose. So seriously I'm asking you guys right now, do we really need a distance to get close?

On Saturday night I'm at home relaxing and exploring my own thoughts and thoughts of brilliant Madame Bradshaw and according to Carrie you can find several of types of the relationships. Those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous. What can I say more. We're all looking for that one.

Being in Geneva and exploring minds and needs of men here, you can find out that most of them are extremely lonely guys that posing their own lives and showing off how much they poses. All those bankers, layers... why they must be so two-faced and so fucked up?

The most annoying thing in introducing himself is telling you in a minute details of his work, the place he lives in, to which fancy places he goes to and what he drives if he's got a car, cos of course he won't tell you that he commutes by bus. I'm sorry this is not a judgment, I know there are loads of normal guys but hey I haven't found that one yet.

".... Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them...." maybe it's me.

I'm in a mood of analyzing everything and what I'm thinking about right now is the past, can we really forget? Can we be able to forgive? Can we really start from the beginning when someone had such an extremely influence on us? And finally are we haunted by the spirits of relationships past? Some many questions that comes through my mind. And I really don't have an answer. No matter how far you travel or how much you run from it, but you will never escape your past, so it's better to deal with it and finally accept it, but what if you still have unanswered questions that haunt your head and keep you still awaken... well that's shit.

"...Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens...” So true.

Finishing this very long post I will tell you couple of things about me using Carrie Bradshaw words. Hope you don't mind.

I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it, and chair committees, and write thank you notes, and I can't feel bad about that.

I make mistakes. That's what I do. I speak without thinking. I act without knowing. I drink so much that I can barely walk. I'm a fantastic lover though, and an amazing friend. God knows I mean well.

Much Love. Deva